Heart Untouched Read online

Page 9


  “Then we can stay here tonight if you like.” He didn’t want to make Duncan uncomfortable. “I have some good movies we can watch if you’d rather.” Though it wasn’t likely they were going to get a lot of privacy. The others would be in and out at some point. Todd kept trying to figure out a way that he and Duncan could be alone, and it just didn’t seem possible. Duncan’s mother was always around at his house, and here it was Todd’s roommates.

  “That would be nice.” Duncan gripped his wrists. “I don’t think I’m up to going out to clubs just yet. You can go if you want to. Just take me home, and you can go out and have a good time.” Duncan closed his eyes. “I won’t hold you back.”

  “Sweetheart, you—” Todd hugged Duncan tightly. “—you don’t hold me back. I thought going out would be fun for both of us, but we don’t need to go.” It really wasn’t that big a deal, and he certainly didn’t want Duncan getting upset over it. “Clive can go dancing for all of us.”

  He got up and went back to making dinner. There wasn’t a huge amount to do since the sauce had already been made. He put the pasta on to cook and slid the garlic bread into the oven. Then he made a simple salad and brought it to the table.

  “I’m sorry,” Duncan told him.

  “Don’t be,” Clive chimed in. “I’m getting tired of going out all the time anyway.” He sat back and put his feet up once again. “Maybe I’ll stay here and watch movies with you.”

  Todd flashed him a dirty look, and Clive cleared his throat.

  “Or I can just go out and keep my mouth shut.” Now he was getting the idea.

  Todd got Clive to set the table, and he put the sauce on to heat before draining the pasta. Once everything was ready, he brought it to the table, and the three of them sat down. Clive ate quietly, probably still stewing over Liam, and Duncan kept glancing at him as though he expected to be ditched at any second. This was not what Todd’d had in mind when he’d invited Duncan over for dinner. He wanted the evening to be enjoyable, and instead Duncan was uncomfortable. Tension hung in the room.

  “I think I’m going to get going.” Clive finished his plate and took it to the sink. “You two have a fun evening.” He hurried away to his room, and Todd wondered what he was up to. Clive returned a few minutes later, and Todd stifled a groan. “I talked to Henry, and apparently he and his date are out for the evening. There was a change of plans. Solly is at his parents’ for the weekend, and I’m heading out in a few minutes.” Clive winked. “So you two can have the place all to yourselves.” He grabbed his jacket and headed for the door.

  “Thanks, and have fun.”

  Clive nodded. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” He pulled open the door and was gone, just like that.

  Todd could hardly believe it—he and Duncan were actually alone.

  “Do you want to sit on the sofa?” Todd asked as he cleaned up the dishes.

  “That would be nice.”

  Todd finished up, wiped his hands on a towel, and returned to the living room. He gently lifted Duncan from his chair, cradling his weight next to his body. God, he loved these moments. For a few seconds, Duncan was his, in his arms. And he belonged to just him. He held Duncan a little longer than necessary before setting him on the cushions. Then he adjusted the lights before sitting next to Duncan. “What would you like to watch?” Todd brought up the movies he’d recorded.

  “I’m not sure. What do you want to watch?” Duncan leaned against him as Todd found a rather subdued Edwardian-era mystery to watch.

  “Have you seen this?” Todd asked as he started Gosford Park, and Duncan shook his head. “It’s got amazing people in it, and it’s quiet. Something both of us could probably use right now.” Todd slipped an arm around Duncan’s waist as they got comfortable, and held his hand.

  This was the perfect quiet date. In the past Todd had always planned very active outings. He used to go biking or running, and he once had a date where they went rock climbing. All of those things were out of the question now, and Todd found he liked a lower-key evening at home anyway.

  “I can hear you thinking,” Duncan said. “This has to be really boring for you.”

  “Actually, I was just thinking how nice it is.” Todd shifted closer, breathing in his scent as he kissed his cheek.

  “You have a very active life. I know because I also used to. It’s part of who we are.” Tension flowed through Duncan, and he reached for the remote and paused the movie. “It’s not fair for me to expect you to give up all the things you normally do. What are you going to do, stop being active?”

  “Duncan, I….” Todd didn’t see it that way.

  “No. Please hear me out. I don’t doubt you have feelings for me. I can see it in your eyes, but you’re going to resent me, I know that. I’m going to end up like a stone around your neck, and you—”

  “You are not a stone around anyone’s neck.” Todd shifted so he faced Duncan. “I don’t know why you think that.”

  Duncan shook his head. “You wanted to go dancing, but I can’t do that. If I go to the club, everyone will stare at me and wonder why the heck I’m there. I can just see people giving me pitiful looks all night long.” He looked away. Todd had to admit that had never occurred to him. He’d only wanted to take Duncan out.

  Todd got to his feet and turned off the movie. Then he got his computer, brought up Pandora, and found a big band station that he thought would work. Setting the computer on the coffee table, he started the music. Then he sat next to Duncan, took his hands, and swayed the two of them to the beat. “See, we’re dancing.” When the music changed to something with a little more swing, he pushed the table back, stood in front of Duncan, took his hands, and moved their arms as he shimmied his body.

  “This isn’t what I meant,” Duncan said.

  “I know exactly what you meant. And you’re wrong. If Stephen Hawking could dance on occasion, then so can you.” Todd leaned down to take Duncan in his arms like they were on a dance floor and rocked them side to side. He grinned, and eventually Duncan smiled. As the music came to an end, he dipped Duncan to the side, supporting his weight as he knelt in close. “See. You can dance. Or more importantly, we can dance together.” Todd kissed Duncan lightly before straightening him up. “You can do any damned thing you want.”

  “It’s a little hard with thirty pounds of metal required to get around,” Duncan groused.

  Todd shook his head. “That’s bloody bullshit. So there are some things that are off-limits. There are a hell of a lot of things that you can do, and I don’t intend to let you sit around and complain about it. I’ll show you all the fun things that are possible. Now, do you want to dance some more?”

  Duncan opened his mouth and stared for a breath. “Maybe we can just watch the movie.”

  “Okay. As long as that isn’t going to be too sedate for my adrenaline-junkie boyfriend.” Todd turned off the music and restarted the movie. Then he sat next to Duncan just as the crime was committed. “This always reminds me of Downton Abbey, except with murder.”

  “I love that show. Too bad they ended it. Though I guess I understand why. They had already covered enough time that some of the fun characters were going to have to die off, and no one wanted that. Especially not the Dowager Countess.”

  Duncan settled against him, and Todd soaked in his warmth. The movie completed and the credits rolled an hour later, and Duncan hadn’t moved.

  “It really doesn’t bother you that I’m in a chair?”

  Todd shifted slightly, turning so he could see Duncan clearly. “What happened to make you think it would? Have I done or said something?” He ran his finger over Duncan’s lower lip. “You need to tell me.”

  “You didn’t do anything,” Duncan said and turned away. “After the accident and while I was in rehab, I met a guy, Harvey. He was nice and all, and he couldn’t walk either. We talked a lot, and I thought he might be interested.” Duncan shrugged. “Harvey and I had therapy appointments back-to-back because we were
on the same schedule for a while, so I saw him all the time. But after about a month, he was able to leave his chair and… I know I was being dumb, but I asked him out. He gave me the brush-off.”

  “That doesn’t mean anything,” Todd said. “Maybe he wasn’t ready. You both had been through some pretty tough stuff.”

  Duncan patted his hand gently. “I heard him after therapy one day. His ride came, and she was this pretty model type. Smart too. I talked to her a few times while I was waiting, and she was really nice. Anyway, I was sitting in the therapy room just off the lobby and the door was partly open. She asked him about me, and Harvey said that he wasn’t going to date anyone in a chair.” Duncan buried his face in Todd’s arm. “I thought we were friends. He’d been through the same stuff as me and….”

  “Just because someone gets hurt doesn’t mean they aren’t a complete asshole.” Todd touched Duncan’s chin, then kissed him again. “You don’t have to worry about things like that, because it doesn’t matter to me.”

  “You say that now. But what happens in a few years when you get tired of helping me get around or in and out of bed and stuff like that?” Duncan swallowed hard. “I’m going to have problems for the rest of my life. I’m working to strengthen my legs, but I know I’m going to have issues because I’ll be sedentary. Who would want to deal with all that when they can have a boyfriend who can walk and run?”

  “Hey, it’s the man who’s important,” Todd insisted, but he wasn’t sure if Duncan believed him or not. Granted, Todd didn’t think that a few words were going to be enough. He’d have to show him with his actions. “How about you let me worry about what I want, okay?”

  Duncan nodded. “I’m just scared of getting my heart broken.”

  “Well, duh. I think we’re all afraid of that. But I’m your friend, and I have been for a while. I’m not going to just hurt you, Duncan. You have to know that.” Todd squeezed his hand. “I’m not going to break your heart if I can help it.” Todd didn’t know what the future would bring for both of them, but he intended to be as gentle with Duncan’s heart as he could.

  “It really doesn’t matter?” Duncan asked.

  “Of course it doesn’t.” Todd drew Duncan to him and kissed him deeply. God, it felt good to have Duncan all to himself and not have to worry about someone walking in on them. “And it never will.”

  “But why?” Duncan asked. “How can it not?”

  “Because it’s the man that matters, not the chair. I like you for you. I have for a while, but I never had the guts to tell you before.” Todd wished Duncan could accept that he was for real. The dithering was a little frustrating, but he did his best to keep that to himself. “Do you think that for now you could just accept what I tell you?”

  Duncan nodded, and Todd kissed him again. He didn’t want to go too far, but it was damned difficult. Duncan’s lips tasted of ambrosia, and as he slipped his arms around him, it was so tempting to slide his hands under his shirt just to feel his bare skin. But he refrained, because in the recesses of his feverish mind, he knew Duncan had to be the one to make that move.

  Todd pulled back and blinked as he gazed into Duncan’s eyes. “Do you want to watch another movie?” He needed to do something, because sitting here with Duncan’s kiss-swollen lips before him, and his scent wafting around him, was wearing at his willpower. All he could think about was getting Duncan out of his clothes, to find out what he looked like under his blue shirt and khaki pants. But if Duncan wasn’t comfortable….

  “I don’t know…,” Duncan breathed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I mean….” He shifted slowly and buried his head against Todd’s shoulder. Todd waited patiently for Duncan to tell him what was going on. “I want to do things, but I don’t think I can.”

  “Sweetheart. You don’t have to rush or make yourself uncomfortable for me. I’ll wait until you’re ready.” Todd put an arm around Duncan’s shoulders and found another movie. “Do you want something with some more action?” When Duncan nodded, he put on The Avengers, and they sat back as superheroes did their best to save the world.

  At about the halfway point, Todd paused the movie and got up to make some popcorn and get each of them a drink. “I thought you might want a snack.” He sat down and placed the bowl on Duncan’s lap, restarted the movie, and popped kernels into his mouth, glancing at Duncan every few minutes because it was simply impossible for him not to.

  By the end of the movie, Duncan was half asleep and Todd had grown extremely comfortable, his eyes drooping. He stretched and took care of the dishes. “I should probably get you home.”

  Duncan yawned, and Todd lifted him back into his chair, hugging him a few seconds and wishing he could simply carry him to his bed and hold him the entire night. But he’d made a promise to himself, and he intended to keep it. He got Duncan down the stairs and into the car, then drove him home, got his chair for him, and walked him to his door.

  “This seems like a date from Happy Days or something,” Duncan teased. “All that’s missing is my mother turning the porch light on and off.”

  Todd leaned down. “Which I expect your mother to do at any second.” He glanced to the windows as a shadow passed behind them. “You know she’s watching.”

  Duncan nodded and wound his arms around Todd’s neck, drawing him down into a scorching kiss that curled Todd’s toes. Did Duncan have any idea what he did to him? Todd blinked away the fog of building anticipation as Duncan pulled away.

  “That ought to teach her.”

  “Was that the only reason you did it?” Todd asked.

  Duncan rolled his eyes. “No. Shocking her a little was only a side benefit.” He smiled and pulled open the door. “Good night.” Duncan wheeled himself inside, and Todd walked back to his car, the tingle on his lips lasting until he got back home.

  Chapter 5

  WHEN TREVOR decided he wanted something, the man didn’t let grass grow under his feet, that was for sure.

  “I have a television crew set to come out to film the first commercial, as well as some video clips that we can put on YouTube and the new website.” Trevor had hired the designer Duncan recommended, and they were already hard at work getting things together. “They had a cancellation and will be here Monday morning.”

  Thankfully Duncan had already put together much of the commercial, so all he needed to do was fine-tune the script. But Trevor was moving whiplash fast. “Then let’s go over everything so we’re all set.”

  Duncan pulled out the details he’d worked up, and they went over them piece by piece.

  “Why aren’t we showing more of the garage?” Trevor asked.

  “Because most everyone knows what a garage looks like. So what we’re doing is instilling a sense of speed, quality, and a fair price into your work. After all, that’s all anyone wants when they get their car fixed.” As Duncan waited for Trevor to digest the idea, he glanced out the window at Todd, who was leaning over the hood of a red Nissan. “We’ll film in front of the garage so the sign is clearly visible. We’ll need to make sure the lights can be turned on even though it’s daytime. It may make a difference to the camera.” He wasn’t sure about lighting, but he needed to cover all options.

  “Okay,” Trevor agreed, sounding both a little nervous and excited.

  “Good.” Duncan pulled some sketches out of his bag. “I storyboarded the commercial. I’m not the best artist, but I wanted to give you a really good idea of how I see it. I don’t want this to look like some local commercial from the seventies, but energetic and interesting, modern, and a little fun. Maybe we can make people smile. That will mean our message has the chance to be memorable.”

  “What about this?” Trevor asked, pointing to the computer.

  “Ahhh,” Duncan nodded and pulled up the video from his computer. “We used to take video of our training runs so we could study them.” Duncan smiled as he played the clip. “This is some that I shot of Todd. I used a super rich camera, so the video should be good enou
gh, and Todd is wearing the same colors as he will in the commercial, so viewers will make an instant connection. I’m thinking we only need to run a few seconds, and this turn is particularly dramatic. I drew up and signed a release for the video, so we can use it.” He handed Trevor the signed agreement.

  “Awesome. So all we need to do is film the commercial.”

  “Then have it put together. I have a first-class editor that I went to college with.” Duncan snickered. “Eric’s first job was editing porn. Lots and lots of porn.” He couldn’t help laughing.

  “What’s so funny?” Todd asked, standing in the doorway.

  “He was telling me about his friend Eric,” Trevor said, and Todd laughed. “I take it you know him?”

  “The best parts of my collection came from him. Eric is straight, but he put himself through college editing gay porn. Is he doing the work on the commercial?”

  “Yes.” Duncan chuckled. “He does great work and has a modern eye that I really want. Most people think it’s the film crew that’s key, but I think it’s the commercial editor. As long as we get him good film, he can create something pretty amazing for us.”

  Trevor turned to Todd. “Are you up to doing this? I know we’ve talked, but this is the moment of truth. If you don’t think you can, there’s still time to cancel.”

  Duncan liked Trevor more and more just by the way he didn’t judge or become impatient. He was asking the question sincerely, and Duncan got the idea that if Todd said no, Trevor would cancel the whole thing with no hard feelings.

  “Duncan thinks I’ll be good at it, and I’m going to trust him.” Todd smiled, and Duncan’s heart jumped.

  “Just look at the camera the way you’re looking at me, and everyone in the city is going to want you to work on their cars,” Duncan said quietly, then blushed like crazy. He couldn’t believe he’d said that in front of Trevor.