Heart Untouched Read online

  “Mom, lunch was hours ago, and dinner won’t be for a few hours yet.” Todd remembered what the doctors had told him: Answer her questions without getting frustrated. It will only upset her.

  “What did you do today?” Duncan asked patiently.

  His mother went into a litany of activities that Todd knew were jumbled memories of the past. There was no rhyme or reason, and Todd certainly knew his mother hadn’t gone canoeing, but it didn’t matter. She was talking, and that was good. A lot of the time, she sat quietly because she didn’t seem to have anything to say. His once-outgoing mother was retreating inside her own head.

  “Sounds like you had some fun times.”

  She nodded but appeared to have run out of steam. She sat back and began looking out the window.

  “It’s okay, Mom,” Todd whispered under his breath.

  Duncan turned to him, confused and bewildered. He backed away as Todd came over.

  “We came to see you,” he said gently.

  “Yes.” She turned once again to the window, and Todd leaned down and kissed her forehead. He knew from experience that there was no use staying. Whatever interaction they were going to get was over. He motioned to Duncan, who said goodbye. Todd did the same, and they left the room.

  “Todd,” Gwen, one of the regular nurses, said as he passed the desk. “How are you holding up?”

  “Good. She was with it for a few minutes.” Todd smiled. “This is my friend Duncan, and Mom remembered him when we first arrived.”

  She smiled and nodded. “Today must have been a good day.” It was all about those few times when his mother was there and interaction was possible.

  “It is.”

  “Is there anything we can do for her?” Duncan asked.

  “No, sweetheart,” Gwen answered. “Alzheimer’s is one of the meanest things I ever seen in my life. Maybe someday we can fix it, but for now we do what we can to keep her comfortable.”

  “Thank you.” Each visit got harder and harder on him. There were times when Todd wished he could stay away, but he never would, regardless of how bad things got.

  They left the home, and Duncan rolled silently out to the car. He got inside, and Todd hefted the chair into the back and closed the doors.

  Todd got in and sat behind the wheel, not moving for a few seconds, simply needing to get his thoughts together. “It’s so hard seeing her that way. The last year has been really bad. Sometimes this damned disease moves slowly, and at other times, it’s hurling forward at a hundred miles an hour. Mom doesn’t have much more to lose, and then she’ll just be a shell.” He rested his head on the steering wheel.

  Duncan gently touched the back of his neck. “You’re doing everything you can for her.”

  “I wish I could do more. I’d love it if I could get her into a better place. The people there are nice and do what they can. But it’s the most her insurance will pay for.” He knew there were probably more comprehensive programs; there had to be. “I’m sorry.” He slowly raised his head. “All of this isn’t your problem.”

  “Hey. You’re the one who’s always telling me to be positive. Your mother is getting good care, and you’ve been there for her. There is nothing more you can do. My grandma spent the last years of her life fighting with everyone because she didn’t remember them. She hit my mom and my grandpa because she didn’t know who they were anymore.” Duncan sat quietly, still touching him, while Todd gathered his thoughts and tried to push away the worry and ache that always accompanied these visits.

  “Why don’t we get something to eat?” He’d like to make Duncan dinner and tried to think of a way to get him into his place. He held up a finger, sat back, and called Clive. “Are you at the apartment?” Todd asked when he answered.

  “Yeah.”

  “Is the place a real mess?” Todd asked, expecting the worst. It had been clean when he left, but Todd swore it could look as though a bomb had gone off in the place in five minutes.

  “No. Henry apparently has a date tonight so he cleaned… a lot.” Clive giggled. “Why? You bringing someone over?”

  “Yeah. I was going to make dinner for Duncan.” Todd gave Duncan a smile.

  “Awesome. I’ll run to the store and pick up some stuff. Do you want this to be romantic?”

  Todd snorted and started the engine. “In that place?” He rolled his eyes. “Grab some garlic bread and pasta. I have sauce in the freezer, unless someone ate it. Get enough and I’ll make plenty.” That way the guys could eat leftovers. Todd hung up and pulled out of the parking area.

  “Will I be able to get inside?”

  “Clive is home. There are a few steps, so I’ll have him help me get you in.” Todd really wanted to have some time with Duncan that didn’t include his mother as chaperone. They had some things to talk about, and he wanted Duncan to feel comfortable.

  “Are you sure?” Duncan asked.

  “Yes. It’s only four steps, and Clive says that the place is clean.” Todd had moved a few weeks after Duncan’s accident, so Duncan had never seen this apartment.

  “Okay.” Duncan sat back as Todd drove to his building. There were four apartments, his being the entire right side of the lower floor. He parked, and Clive hurried out to meet them.

  “You’re Clive Richards,” Duncan said as he opened his door and held out his hand. “I saw you in the luge. You were amazing.”

  “Thanks.” Clive opened the back door and got Duncan’s chair out.

  “Your interview was awesome. I loved when you talked about your brother and how you dedicated your run to him.”

  Clive waited while Duncan shifted into his chair, and Todd found himself a little jealous. He tamped it down as Duncan maneuvered the chair up the walk. There was a slight incline, and Todd gently helped him to the base of the steps.

  “Thanks. Peter actually got to see me run on television. He passed away a couple weeks after the Games.”

  “I’m sorry,” Duncan said quietly, taking Clive’s hand. “I’m glad he got to see you, though.”

  “It’s okay. Petey had spina bifida and fought his entire life to do as much as he possibly could. He always said he wanted to ride on a luge sled, but he was never able to. Once I had arranged for him to get special permission to take a bobsled ride with me. I had guys who would help load him and help him back to his chair. My mom had two fits about it, while Dad thought it was a great idea. It wasn’t like we were going to go fast.” Clive sighed. “Peter got sick again, and that ended that. He was so disappointed.” Clive forced a smile. “At least he got to see me make my runs.”

  “My mom always refused to watch mine. She said it made her too nervous.” Duncan rolled his eyes. “I guess she was right about that.” He sighed.

  “We’ll help you up the steps.” Todd took the back of the chair and turned Duncan around, then tilted him back. He got up to the top, with Clive steadying the front. It was easy enough, and soon Duncan was in the apartment.

  “How many people live here?”

  “There are four of us. The others are out at the moment.” Todd went to the kitchen to check on the things for dinner. “Thanks for shopping,” he told Clive, pulling a couple of beers out of the refrigerator and handing the cans around.

  “I’ll shop for your cooking anytime.” Clive glanced at Duncan. “Todd is really good in the kitchen, but I’m a complete mess.” Clive sat in the large Goodwill chair, which was really comfortable, and a Packers throw hid the ugly pink fabric… well, mostly.

  Todd cleared a space near the sofa so Duncan would have plenty of room and returned to the open kitchen area. The living space wasn’t particularly large because of the bedrooms, but it worked for them.

  “How are things at work?” Todd asked as he pulled the sauce out of the freezer and set it to thaw. He also got the garlic bread ready for the oven before joining the others in the living room.

  “Same. You know, a toilet is a toilet.”

  “You’re a plumber?” Duncan asked.
/>   “Yeah. That’s my trade, but I’ve done just about everything in homes except electrical. I leave that to the pros.”

  “The bathroom at our house is really narrow, and Mom and I have talked about replacing the vanity so there would be more room for my chair. Maybe you could come over and look at it sometime. It would make things easier if I could move around a little more.”

  “I’ve done plenty of remodeling work.” Todd smirked. “I’m pretty good with my hands. Clive and I could probably fix you up in no time.”

  “It would really help me out. I also need to redesign my closet. The rod needs to be lowered, and I need places for shoes and stuff so I can reach them. It’s hard picking stuff up off the floor. I have those grabber things.”

  “Then you tell us when you’ll be available, and Todd and I will come over and take a look,” Clive said, lifting his beer and taking a swig. “If we need more help, we can recruit the rest of the guys. Everyone here has built stuff, done demo—you name it.” Clive shook his head. “It’s damn sad that we don’t get more support from the committee.”

  “I know. They tried to pull my insurance after I got hurt because I couldn’t compete anymore. I had to get lawyers involved,” Duncan said, and Todd saw red. “The accident was because of a flaw in the run, at the USOC facility. We had to threaten to sue them just to get the jerks to back off. Anyway, I want to use Todd in some commercials, so I’m trying to research the rules so he doesn’t get sanctioned, and, of course, they have something on their website, but mostly it’s buried in documents that you need a law degree to understand.”

  “That’s because they want everyone to fail and break the rules. Then we’re at the bastards’ mercy,” Clive grumbled. “But I think I have something somewhere.” He left the room, and Todd leaned forward to take Duncan’s hands.

  “I appreciate you doing all this for me.” He met Duncan’s gaze, his blue eyes sparkling. God, Duncan had the most amazingly expressive eyes. Todd could get lost in them for the rest of his life. “You really don’t have to.”

  “Yes, I do. I want to help, and this could be just the start. Besides, Trevor is excited about it and thinks it’s a great idea. What makes it better is you work for him, so you’ll be in the commercial and there’s the chance that people will actually see you working on their car. That’s super cool for customers.”

  “Is that the only reason you’re doing it?” Todd asked, and Duncan shook his head.

  “I want you to be a success and happy, and I want you to be able to go to the Olympics and win a medal. Win one for you and for me, because you winning is going to be as close as I ever come.” Duncan squeezed his hand. “I want to be there when you stand on that platform and listen to the national anthem as the flags rise into the wind. Okay? That’s what I want.”

  Todd sniffed slightly. “But what if that doesn’t happen?” Damn, that was added pressure.

  “Just being there is plenty. It means you’re talented enough to make the team and the trip. So I want you to be able to go for it.” Duncan leaned forward, and Todd captured his lips and kissed him deeply. When a throat cleared from behind him, Todd flipped Clive off and slipped out of his seat so he could get even closer to Duncan.

  Heat and energy coursed through him. He needed more and ran his hands around Duncan’s back, caressing him through his shirt as he pressed his tongue between his sweet lips. The taste of Duncan, hot and slightly spicy, burst on his tongue as he kissed him even harder. There was no hesitation from Duncan, only reciprocation as Duncan moaned softly against his lips.

  “If you two want to take this further….”

  Todd pulled away, swallowed hard, and cleared his throat. “A good roommate would leave the room for a few minutes and give his friends some privacy.” He flashed Clive a grimace that was met with a colossal eye-roll.

  “Please. A good roommate would take his making out to his own room.” Clive tapped his foot with a smirk. “And some of us are hungry.”

  “I see.” Todd returned to his chair as Clive handed Duncan a sheaf of papers. Duncan covered his mouth with his hand as though he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to laugh or not.

  “Don’t worry about it,” Clive said to Duncan. “He and I give each other grief all the time. It’s part of what we do.” He flopped down in the chair once again, slipped his feet onto the coffee table, and tipped back his beer with a smug satisfaction that Todd wanted to smack off his face.

  “You’re a pain in the ass,” Todd told him, and Clive just flipped him off and finished his beer. “That’s your limit if you’re going to be driving.”

  Clive looked dramatically affronted and got up, threw the can away, and returned with a glass of water. “Fine. I’m supposed to go out tonight, and I need to watch what I drink.” He rotated his tight little hips and ass. “I don’t want to put on weight. Not only will the coaches give me grief, but this pert little package is my moneymaker at the clubs.”

  “‘Pert little package.’ Is that what they’re calling it now?” Duncan waggled his pinkie, and Todd snorted as Clive tried his best to look insulted before he flopped back down.

  “Two against one. That isn’t fair.” Clive stuck out his lower lip, and Todd shook his head.

  “That isn’t very attractive, Bubba Blue,” Todd told him, and Clive pulled in his lower lip and drank some water.

  “Seriously, do you think you could get me some commercials or something like that?” Clive asked. “We could all use some help with our image and maybe get a little money.” He finished the water and set the glass on the side table. “I’m so sick of eating ramen noodles and macaroni. We’re supposed to have a balanced diet, and yet fresh vegetables are too expensive to eat all the time.”

  “Let me see how this works out for Todd, and I’ll see what I can do. There are plenty of places looking for someone to represent their brand, but they don’t know how to go about finding someone.” Todd could almost see Duncan’s wheels turning.

  “Maybe we can talk to the rest of the guys and see if they might be interested.” Clive put his feet down as Todd held up his hand.

  “Let’s wait to see how this works out, okay?” Duncan sounded a little overwhelmed by Clive’s huge burst of energy. “I don’t want to promise something I can’t deliver.”

  Todd took Duncan’s hand to try to soothe his agitation.

  “That’s cool.” Clive’s phone rang, and he checked the display and hurried out, probably going down to his room.

  “Boyfriend?” Duncan asked.

  “There’s this guy that Clive likes.” Todd leaned forward. “The two of them have been circling around each other at the club for months. They talk and even dance sometimes, but Clive won’t make a move, and neither does Liam. He stays back. Finally they decided to actually meet at the club to go dancing, and then Liam asked him to get a late dinner. Clive has been over the moon about it.”

  Duncan cleared his throat, and Todd waited. He had the feeling that Duncan had something he wanted to say. “Umm….” He turned away. “God, this is embarrassing. But when we kissed, something happened… if you know what I mean.” He colored deeply.

  Todd nodded. “Stuff is working?”

  Duncan shrugged. “I don’t know. Let’s just say that it isn’t completely dead.” Duncan smiled with what Todd could only describe as relief. “Though it seems to have a mind of its own.”

  Todd snorted, and Duncan laughed right along with him.

  With a hangdog expression on his face and a huge sigh, Clive returned.

  Todd cleared his throat. “What happened?”

  “Liam had to cancel. He had to go to Chicago tonight for a meeting first thing in the morning.” Clive slumped back in his chair, staring at his phone as though willing it to ring again. “It sucks.”

  “There’ll be another time.”

  Clive shrugged. “I should have stayed away from him. He has a reputation as a player, and while I like some fun, some guys just aren’t worth it.” He crossed hi
s arms over his chest and sat brooding, which was so unlike Clive. He was usually a happy-go-lucky kind of guy.

  “If he likes you, he’ll call again.” Todd wanted to try to reassure him, but it did sound like a bit of a brush-off considering he’d called at nearly six at night.

  “He said we could go out to dinner next week.” That cheered Clive up somewhat. “I was just looking forward to seeing him.” Clive didn’t give his heart away… to anyone. In all the time Todd had known him, Clive had had two boyfriends, and they’d never stayed around for very long. Clive seemed to either wear them out or tire of them. But he’d been fascinated by Liam for months. “But I hate waiting around for him.”

  “You could just call the guy yourself instead of waiting around like a damsel in distress,” Todd offered. “Call and talk to the guy.” It sounded like that was what they needed more than anything else.

  Clive perked up, and Todd stood and went into the kitchen to get dinner started.

  “But what do I do tonight?” Clive asked. “It’s Friday, and I don’t want to sit around all night.” He jumped to his feet. “Why don’t you guys come to the club? There’s great music and dancing and stuff.” Then the color drained from his face and he stepped back. “God, I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay. I don’t have my dancing wheels on the chair tonight.” Duncan smiled slightly, but Todd had tension in his voice. Dammit.

  “That’s a good idea,” Todd interjected, and set the pot he’d been filling onto the stove.

  “Are you crazy?” Duncan asked. “I can’t dance.”

  “Maybe not the old way, but we could have some fun. There will be lots of people there for you to talk to, and—” Todd walked up to Duncan and leaned down close to him, lowering his voice to a whisper. “—I think I’d like to dance with you.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Yes. Didn’t you ever go out before?” Todd asked.

  “Yeah, but I could walk then, and I could dance. I can’t do either of those things now.” Duncan turned away, and Todd gently cradled his chin in his fingers.