Backward Read online

  “Bull,” Harry began with equal gravity, “you realize that if we hadn’t been able to provide a duplicate of the security footage, Carlos and his boys could accuse us of assault. They could claim we attacked them. That video was proof that we had provocation and were on the right side of the law. But with it gone….”

  “We need a way to back up the security data somewhere offsite,” Bull said. “I know we’ve talked about this, but you’re right, and if something happens to the data we have here….”

  “What do we do about the guy Eddie has on the police?” Tristan asked, breaking into their conversation.

  “As you said, we can’t prove it, and I, for one, am not in the mood to piss off the Harrisburg police department. If we go to them without proof, they’ll come down on us. Besides, they have to be thinking the same things we are. They have more information than we do, and if we can put things together, then they have to be able to.”

  “But what if they can’t, and Eddie…?” Tristan rubbed his injured wrist. He hadn’t thought about that for a few minutes, but now it began to ache again.

  Bull’s expression softened. “I understand. Just let us think about what we should do. All we have are suppositions and hastily drawn conclusions from a conversation and a few facts that may not connect the way we think they do.”

  Tristan shifted his gaze to the floor. “If you think so. But you aren’t the one Eddie’s after. He wants me. I’m the one he grabbed and left marks on.” Tristan stuck out his arm, pulling up his sleeve. “When I started seeing him, he was a nice guy, and I fell in love with him. I don’t see that person any longer. I think that he’s gone. Maybe he’s using the product he’s selling, I don’t know, but I’m scared to death of him.” Tristan tried his best to keep from trembling. “You made it seem like I was your boyfriend at lunch today. I know you meant well, but….” Tristan stared at Harry. “What if you only made him mad?”

  Harry swallowed. “The last thing I wanted to do was cause trouble for you. I was hoping if he saw that someone strong was interested in you and willing to fight for you, he’d back away and realize you were more trouble than he wanted to take on. I….” Harry’s voice faltered. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

  “How can you promise that?” Tristan asked, his heart pounding fiercely in his ears.

  “Eddie is a coward, and what he’s doing is illegal. That makes him vulnerable, and he knows it. He may go out for lunch at a restaurant, but there are plenty of his associates, like Carlos, who make him vulnerable, and he knows that too. The police have Carlos now. They have evidence, and he isn’t going to walk. Guys like that make deals to save their own skin, and if not Carlos, then someone else will give him up.”

  “But what if I don’t have that long? What if he comes after me, or….” The thought scared the hell out of him. If Eddie got his hands on him, what would he do? What would happen? Tristan had been with Eddie intimately. In bed he was just as much a control freak as he was in the rest of his life. Eddie liked to dominate; he needed it, and sometimes….

  “It’s going to be okay.” Tristan hadn’t heard Harry come out from behind his desk, but now he took Tristan’s hand and sat down next to him. “I have no intention of letting Eddie get anywhere near you.” Harry glanced up at Bull.

  “What are you going to do? Watch over me for the rest of my life?” Tristan said. “You have a life and a job here. Are you going to ferry me back and forth to work and watch everything I do? You can’t. I don’t want that from anyone. I just want my life back, and I want Eddie to leave me alone.” How could he have known that his search for a boyfriend would turn into a complete nightmare?

  “I’ll be here for you for as long as you need me,” Harry told him earnestly.

  Tristan wondered what that meant. People had made him lots of promises over the years, but he knew very few people who were in anything for the long haul. They might help for a day or two, but their interest would fade, and he’d be on his own… again. He should be used to it by now.

  “You two go on,” Bull said. “The club will open soon. Spook and I can handle things tonight. Get some rest and be careful.”

  “We will,” Harry said without looking away from Tristan, who wondered what was going on. “Let me put things away in here, and then we’ll go.”

  Tristan didn’t look away from Harry’s warm eyes. He heard Bull leave the office, but couldn’t look away from Harry. The door clicked closed, and Tristan still sat, enraptured by Harry’s gaze. He’d watched Harry before—heck, he’d stared at him when he thought no one was looking. But he’d also seen him go home with guys from the club, bartenders.… Harry spent his time going from man to man. Tristan couldn’t be with someone like that, not even once.

  “I just want to go home,” he said softly. Someplace familiar and warm where he could lick his wounds and figure out what he was going to do next. Maybe leaving town and moving somewhere else was the answer. He was only a waiter, and he could get another job somewhere else. He didn’t think Eddie would follow him that far. But that would mean leaving his friends. Zach, Jeremy, and Kevin were like his family. What would he do without them? He’d be all alone and have to start over again. He’d also never find friends like them again. They were his best friends, his brothers.

  “We’ll stop at the apartment and get you some clothes and stuff,” Harry told him softly. “I can’t force you to stay with me for a few days, so if you want to stay at your apartment, then we’ll stop at my house to check on Butterscotch, and then I can crash at your place for a few days. Kevin’s not there, right? Maybe I could stay in his room.”

  “You’d stay there? You’d do that?”

  “Yes. I told you I wasn’t going to let anything happen to you, and I meant it. I know I’m not Bull, but then there’s only one of him. He could intimidate the hell out of anyone… well except Zach, who thinks he’s a big teddy bear. But I won’t let you go through this alone.” Something in Harry’s expression made Tristan pause.

  “How can you do this? You have your own life.”

  “Not really,” Harry admitted and then sighed. “Let’s just say I understand how you feel.”

  “How can you?” Tristan pressed. “The fear that someone you loved now….” Tristan shivered. “He’s a monster. There has to be something wrong with me.”

  “Why? You aren’t the one acting this way. He is. There is nothing wrong with you or for you to be ashamed of. I know that you didn’t understand what Eddie was truly like until later. Guys like him don’t show their true colors right away. They lure you in, and then once they have you, you’re trapped.”

  Tristan gasped softly. “Did the same thing happen to you?”

  “Yes. Sometime ago. The guy wasn’t a dealer like Eddie, but he was bad news, and I fell for him, big-time.” Harry paused and then stood. “Let me get these papers put away and locked up. Then we can get out of here. Did you eat before you left the restaurant?”

  “I had something this afternoon, but we were too busy for me to be able to stop later, so I haven’t had anything in a while.”

  Harry began putting papers away in his files. “Then on the way home, we can pick up something to eat. Is Chinese okay? There’s a place near the house where I can order ahead. It’s pretty good.”

  “That’s fine,” Tristan said. He’d already made up his mind that it would probably be best if he went to Harry’s. He felt safer at Harry’s. “You can call after we stop at my apartment to get some clothes.”

  Harry finished clearing his desk and secured everything before opening the office door and leading the way toward the club. The music had started, with a few patrons arriving early. Harry headed straight for the front door, and Tristan followed.

  The rain had let up, coming down much more lightly. “It’s probably going to be a slow night with this weather,” Harry said as they reached the car, and he unlocked the doors with his smart key.

  HARRY DROVE Tristan to the apartment and went in to m
ake sure everything was okay. Tristan got a bag and packed some things. Once he was ready, Tristan called Kevin and told him what was going on. “I’m staying with Jeremy for a few days just in case too,” Kevin said. But they both hoped they would be able to get back to normal soon. Tristan apologized for all this bother, but Kevin verbally shrugged it off. After completing his call, Tristan locked the door, and they went out to the car.

  “Where is your car?” Harry asked once they were on the road and he’d called in their food order.

  Tristan shrugged. “I don’t have one. Kevin gives me a ride sometimes, and otherwise I take the bus. Since I’m often with the guys, it isn’t as pressing as it would normally be, but a car is more than I can afford right now.” Most people were shocked when they found that out, but to him it was practical and the way things were. Maybe someday he could afford one, but not now. “I’ve gotten used to doing without what I don’t really need.”

  “Oh,” Harry said.

  Tristan stared at his feet, not wanting to look at Harry. “I grew up poor. My parents worked two jobs to try to feed my brother and me so we could stay off welfare. They were proud of the fact that they never took assistance from anyone, and I guess I learned that lesson really well from them. My dad didn’t take it well when I told him I was gay, so I’ve been fending for myself for a long time.”

  “How old were you when you left home?”

  “I was eighteen. Lucky for me I had good friends, and the four of us sort of formed our own pack. We all knew we were gay, and that helped too. My brother is older. He’s in the Navy. But Darren has never understood my being gay, either. He never will because he doesn’t want to.”

  “That’s a shame,” Harry said.

  Tristan hoped he wasn’t hearing pity, but he wasn’t sure. “I know a lot of military people are understanding and accepting. My brother fell in with a crowd that isn’t, and he’s too much of a follower to go against them. At least that’s what I keep telling myself, and hoping that when he gets out, if he ever does, he’ll go back to the brother I knew growing up.” He tried to keep the near soul-deep disappointment from coloring his voice, but he doubted he was successful. “Do you have family?”

  “Yes. I have my parents and a sister. She’s….” Harry sighed. “She’s in a special home. I go up to see her sometimes, but she doesn’t know me or anyone, really, other than her caregivers, and she only knows them because they’re constantly with her.”

  “Was she in an accident?”

  “Yeah, you could say that. She was driving when she was twenty-three. She ran off the road. Unfortunately, it was one of those high freeway bridges. She sailed into the water below. By some miracle they got her out alive, but between the lack of oxygen and the cocaine she’d been using, she’s permanently disabled. My mother had to place her in permanent care, and the whole thing was almost more than she could bear.” Harry sighed. “I was nineteen at the time and lost my sister to the drug-induced near coma she’ll be in permanently.”

  “Do you blame your sister for what happened?” Tristan asked as Harry turned in to the parking lot of the Chinese restaurant and pulled to a stop.

  Harry turned off the engine and sat still. “I guess I do. I also blame the drugs and the dealer who sold them to her. I blame the whole culture around that shit that glamorizes it and tries to make it cool. It’s not. That shit steals lives, and not just those of the users. It hurts their families and everyone around them.” The vehemence in Harry’s voice hit Tristan like a tall ocean wave.

  “Is that why you’re so vehement around people like Eddie?” Tristan asked.

  “I’d like to think I’d feel the same way no matter what, but yeah. I don’t want those bloodsuckers anywhere near me or near my business. Both Bull and I decided that when we bought the club. We cleaned it up first thing and have done our best to keep it clean.” Harry opened his door. “I’ll get dinner and be right back.” He climbed out, closed the door, and rushed across the parking lot.

  The quiet gave Tristan a chance to think for a few minutes. Harry was attractive—heck, Tristan thought he was downright smoking hot—and he was obviously kind and thoughtful. He also knew more about him than he had just a little while before. But what he couldn’t get out of his mind was the multiple times he’d seen him with the guys at the club. Harry was a player, or at least he had been. Granted, Tristan wasn’t as pure as the driven snow. He’d been with guys—more than just Eddie—and he’d had his fun. So why was he being so standoffish? Granted, Harry hadn’t made a move, but the looks he kept getting and the way Harry was so intent on protecting him showed some sort of interest. And he knew he was interested in Harry. So what was the problem?

  Harry hurried back, opened the door, and handed him the food before climbing inside. The rain had started again, pelting the windshield with huge drops. Harry backed out of his parking space and then slammed on the brakes. He gasped, swearing under his breath before slowly starting again. “People need to watch where they’re going.” He continued backing out and then pulled out of the parking lot and into slow-moving traffic.

  The rain worsened, but they made it to Harry’s, and he pulled all the way up beside the house. “The one thing I don’t like is that the garage is in the back, in the alley.”

  They made a run for it with Harry carrying dinner and Tristan clutching his bag close to himself to keep it dry. Harry unlocked the back door, and they rushed inside. Tristan dripped onto the kitchen floor, setting his bag on one of the chairs. After just those few seconds in the rain, he was nearly soaked to the skin and began to shiver in the air-conditioning. Harry couldn’t have been any drier.

  “There’s a bathroom in the front hall. You can hurry in there to change while I get some plates so we can eat before it gets cold,” Harry said.

  Tristan grabbed his bag and hurried to the bathroom, leaving as little water as he could on the floor. He closed the bathroom door and began stripping off his wet clothes. As he took them off, he wrung them out in the sink as best he could before opening his bag and taking out dry clothes that he laid on the counter. He used a towel to dry his skin before pulling on dry things. He hadn’t bothered with an extra pair of shoes, so he set those out to dry and carried the rest with him back to the kitchen.

  Tristan stopped in the doorway. Harry had set the food on the table. He’d also pulled off his shirt and was in the process of pulling on a dry one. His face was obscured, but Tristan got a good look at Harry’s smooth, golden chest and flat belly. Tristan came into the room as Harry pulled the shirt down, the opening sliding over his face. “Umm, where do you want me to put the wet stuff?”

  “I’ll run it downstairs, and then we can eat.” Harry took Tristan’s wet things and pulled open the door to the basement. Tristan walked to the table and sat down, waiting for Harry to return. It wasn’t long before he heard footsteps on the stairs and Harry came back in the kitchen carrying a bottle of wine. “We might as well enjoy ourselves.” He pulled a corkscrew from a drawer and opened the bottle, then dropped the corkscrew back in the drawer with a thunk of metal implements. Then he grabbed two glasses and joined Tristan at the table.

  “Thank you for everything,” Tristan said quietly. “I really don’t mean to be a problem, and this has to be a total disruption of your life.”

  Harry actually laughed. “Please. Yeah, you’re disrupting my home life, with only a cat for company.” Harry checked the floor, and Tristan did the same. They were both looking for the cat, but for very different reasons. Tristan was none too happy when Butterscotch eventually made an appearance. He watched her closely and somehow managed to keep from running from the room. “I’ll feed you as soon as we’re done here,” Harry said to the cat, but she mewled, so Harry got up and fed her. “Once she’s eaten she’ll settle down somewhere.”

  “Okay.” Tristan continued watching her as he ate. As long as she stayed away, he was okay—the farther the better. He ate faster, trying to race the cat to be done eating so he would
n’t be tied to the table. Once Butterscotch was done, Harry stood, picked up the cat, and carried her to another part of the house. When he returned he was alone. “You didn’t do anything to her, did you?”

  “No. She’s out on the front porch. It’s screened, and she’ll spend hours out there exploring and looking for bugs. Don’t worry, I’ll let her in once we’re done eating.” He smiled. Tristan felt bad that he was pushing the cat out of her home because of his fear. “So did anything else happen at work?”

  “After that?” Tristan chuckled. “Nothing compares. It was like a scene from a Three Stooges movie.” He had to laugh about it or he’d cry. “It went from frightening to slapstick to a total mess within seconds.”

  “I bet you aren’t likely to ever have a lunch service like that again.”

  “God, I hope not.” He continued smiling, but the fear-inducing portion of the incident was coming forward again. It had been overshadowed by the humor for a few seconds, but then it came rolling back. Eddie had been the source of the whole thing, and he’d had no compunction whatsoever about physically hurting him. In fact, it had only taken seconds to cause him pain, the residual of which still lingered.

  “So do I.” Harry set down his fork. “If Eddie shows up at work again, please tell your boss and call me. Bull and I were able to hint at what he does, and I don’t think he’s going to be welcome, but don’t take any chances.”

  “I can take care of myself,” Tristan began but then stopped. When it came to Eddie, he very clearly couldn’t. He knew that.

  “Under normal circumstances, of course you can, but this isn’t normal. This is you versus an asshole who doesn’t play by the rules that anyone else lives by. He’ll do anything to get what he wants. Remember, this is a guy who sells drugs for a living. He doesn’t have a conscience or scruples.”

  Tristan took a bite of his General Tso’s chicken. If that were true, then what did it say about him that he could date a guy like that and fall in love with him? There had to be something fundamentally wrong with him for that to happen.