Buried Passions Read online

  “Because I’m the only one who can put up with your shit,” Chet retorted. “Now, how are things with the groundskeeper? Tell me all the luscious details. Is he as hot in bed as you say he looks?”

  I growled before I could stop myself, my hackles rising instantly. “I’m not talking about that with you. I don’t kiss and tell.”

  Chet crowed. “You have kissed him, then! The last time we talked, you were perving on him. Now you’ve progressed to kissing.”

  “God, you’re like some kid from high school. Next we’re going to have a discussion about what constitutes second base.” I smiled because teasing him was great fun.

  “Since you brought it up, how far did you get?” Chet was settling in, and I was likely going to get the grilling of my life. “I know you kissed him….”

  “Chet…,” I warned and received a cackle in response.

  “You went beyond kissing. This is interesting! How far did you get?” His chuckles continued. “Or is all this just some ruse because you struck out big-time?”

  That was to try to get under my skin, but it wasn’t going to work. “This isn’t school. God, did you regress or something?” I flopped down into a chair, putting my foot up. “I think it’s time to go to bed.”

  “Come on,” he said, more seriously now. “What’s going on there?”

  “Are you really interested or do you just want to give me shit? It’s been a long day, and I’m really not in the mood for all this.” My patience was running thinner by the second.

  “Tell me.”

  “Luka is pretty amazing.” I could still feel the ghost of him, and it was comforting, like he was here with me. “He listens. At first I wasn’t sure how much he understood, but his English is okay and he understands more than he speaks. I suspect he doesn’t understand all the implications of the words he says.”

  “Why?” Chet asked.

  I groaned to myself. “I just do. He’s a very nice man, sexy, hot, caring, gentle. He’s strong and perceptive as hell. He watches and seems to know what I need. At the memorial service, things got pretty emotional, and he knew how to help.”

  “What did he do, whisper dirty things in your ear?” Somehow Chet had managed to be serious for five minutes. That had to be a record of some kind.

  “He held my hand,” I answered truthfully. “Well, he placed his on top of mine, but it was what I needed. I knew things would be all right, because he was there.”

  “Hold the phone,” Chet said. “Just stop. You sat next to him at the memorial service? And when things got tough he held your hand? That’s really sweet.”

  “Don’t be snide. I had to get up and say something in front of everyone. I hadn’t seen Uncle Samuel since I was fifteen, and that was just a stop-in with Dad because we were in the area. I really didn’t know him. I was lost, and Luka was there…. He has these great eyes and… he sort of held me up.”

  Chet didn’t say anything at first, and I checked the phone to make sure I still had a connection. “Holy crap, you’re falling for him.”

  “I am not,” I lied. “You can’t fall for anyone in three days. I don’t know that much about him. But I can’t stop thinking about him. He works at the cemetery and busses tables at a restaurant here in town. He walks where he needs to go, and it’s been raining like crazy.”

  “You went down there to give him a ride, didn’t you?” There wasn’t a hint of humor. “You were worried about him. It sounds to me like you have a thing for the groundskeeper.”

  “You’re a big help. I can’t. I’m here to settle my uncle’s estate, and then I’m going home. I have a life there, and soon I’ll have a new job. What am I supposed to do here? Besides, I don’t really know anything about Luka.”

  “I talked to Payton, and there’s nothing happening here for a while. The shows are really stable at the moment. He’s working on some things, but Payton is telling us to be patient. It could be a little while before new shows go into production. We knew this…. So take your time and see how things go with Luka. You could bring him to New York with you if things work out. There’s definitely no rush on this end.”

  “But my life is there….” I hated getting all whiny.

  “Yeah, that’s attractive,” Chet quipped. “If you really want to leave, then get on the train and come back. I’m sure the lawyer can handle anything you need for the estate. Have him sell everything, and then you can walk away. You said yourself you didn’t really know your uncle, so turn around, walk away, and come back to New York. Let me know when you’re getting in and I’ll arrange to meet you at the station.”

  “I….” I wished it was that simple. “It isn’t that easy….”

  “Sure it is. If you want it to be.” Chet paused, and I could feel him waiting. “You don’t need to see Luka again. As you said, you’ve known him for a few days. What does it matter? The two of you had some fun, and he got you through the memorial service. Walk away and come home.” He paused again. “But I don’t think that’s what you want. You’re curious about your uncle and his life. You want to get to know who he was. And Luka… I won’t go into Luka, other than to say that you need to send me a picture of him, preferably naked….”

  I groaned.

  “See where things go. Get to know this guy. Like I said, you could bring him to New York with you if you wanted. It’s so dead here, I might come to visit next weekend. I could scout the place out.”

  “Sure. That would be great. It would be nice to see a familiar face for a bit. But what do I do in the meantime? I don’t want to sit around the house all day. I’m not ready to go through my uncle’s things.”

  “Then find something to do. Get a project. I’m sure the house has something that needs to be done on it, and if not, there has to be something to keep you busy. And for gosh sakes, spend time with Luka. Find out if what you’re feeling is an infatuation or if it’s real, and don’t be scared of it.”

  “I’m not,” I countered way too damn quickly, and cringed.

  “Yes, you are. You never let any guy get too close to you. Not even Greg. I know you’ve had boyfriends, but….”

  “Things just didn’t last,” I told him.

  “Bullshit! When things get serious, you get cold feet, find something you don’t like, blow it out of all proportion, and then back away and distance yourself. Brian tried to work with you about the whole sleep-thrashing thing, but as soon as he mentioned it, he was picking on you and you tossed him aside like a sack of potatoes. The poor guy got whiplash.” Chet tsked over the phone. “All he suggested was that you might have some issues that caused the thrashing.”

  “He….” I tried to counter what Chet was saying, but words failed me. “It wasn’t going to work out.”

  “What does Luka say about your night terrors? Have you slept with him or just fucked and made him leave?”

  “You’re a real asshole, you know that?” I needed this conversation to end. This was about him trying to help me, not a “rip Jonah apart” session.

  “No. I’m your best friend and I can tell you the truth. You can be pissy all you want, but it doesn’t change anything. I’m flighty and shallow—I know that and I revel in it. Admitting my shortcomings makes it easy for me to highlight the faults of others. So, what did happen?” He wasn’t going to let me off the hook.

  “He stayed the night. Twice…,” I offered, expecting Chet to crow at getting me to tell him.

  “And…?”

  Not the reaction I expected.

  “I slept well and he held me and….” Shit… nothing. I actually slept with him for two nights and was still. At least I thought I had been. “Luka never said anything, and he wasn’t bruised up and didn’t end up on the floor.”

  Chet was silent for a long time. “Let me get this straight. You, the king of kicking people out of bed, slept the whole night through, still and quiet, with Luka, twice….” He chuckled. “I’m crossing myself on this end because that’s a fucking miracle if I’ve ever heard one. You d
efinitely need to find out what’s going on between you. If you feel that comfortable with this guy, you had better dig deeper and make sure this isn’t something special. Because if Luka is the only man you can sleep with and not leave black and blue, then, shit…. Figure out what the hell is going on. And for God’s sake, don’t fuck it up.”

  Chapter 5

  THE FOLLOWING morning I got up at sunrise. I was not used to the quiet and kept waking, wondering what the hell was wrong. When I woke up once again to see the rising sun, I gave up. I got up, dressed in old clothes, and decided to take Chet’s advice. I needed something to do and my curiosity was getting the better of me, so I figured I’d go to the cemetery to explore the overgrown areas.

  I drove the car around to the garage and loaded the tools I thought I might need into the trunk. I had no idea if Luka would be there, and I assumed the equipment shed was locked when he wasn’t. I parked in the back, as close to the area where I was going to work as I could, and got out. Everything was still waking, with dew dripping off the leaves overhead as I stepped under the canopy. I could see where Luka and I had started clearing and got to work cutting down the brush and hauling it to a pile.

  The air was warm, but the breeze was refreshing, so I didn’t get too hot as I hauled branch after branch out of the area. Once the brush had been removed, I marked a number of smaller trees for removal, cut down what I could with loppers, and left the rest to Luka’s chain saw.

  “You here.”

  I jumped a mile, not having heard Luka approach. “I figured I’d get started.” I pointed to the now-huge brush pile.

  “I get chipper,” Luka said and hurried away.

  I continued working, jumping once again when a throaty engine started up, and worked faster until it hummed. The screech of wood being chewed to bits startled me at first, but after that, I settled into a rhythm, hauling over what I could cut out while Luka fed the machine. A steady stream of chips created an ever-growing pile, filling the air with the earthy scent of wood. I liked it.

  “We need to cut down the trees I marked,” I said.

  Luka nodded, continuing to feed in the branches, his arms bulging as he hoisted them. Luka easily caught up to me, going through the brush quickly. He turned off the chipper and approached where I was working.

  “These all go. I think the large ones we leave and the others we cut.” I patted one of the really old ones. “This one needs to be removed. It’s half dead.”

  “I cannot…,” Luka said as his gaze followed the tree upward.

  “I know. I’ll have to call someone to remove it.” The thing was way too large. I also figured I could contract them to remove any stumps that needed to go at the same time. Most of the trees we were getting out were small, with shallow roots. I began digging them up while Luka used a metal rake to pull away the vines.

  “Look,” he said, pointing to his feet where a stone had fallen over. It was intact, just lying on the ground.

  “Don’t move it. We’ll see if we can find where it goes and put it back in place.” I used my gloved hands to clear more of the area and found where the earth had been pulled up when it toppled. I used the shovel to clear the hole and set the stone back in place, then tamped it down with my foot. The etched side of the stone had been down and the earth had preserved it. “It’s very early.”

  I wiped the dirt away while Luka kept carefully raking the area, uncovering other stones that had been grown over. A few were broken. We gathered the pieces to make sure we had all of them and set them carefully in place before moving on.

  “Does your family know about you?” I asked as I returned to digging out some roots.

  “Last year, before election. I gay, and my family… ashamed?” He turned to me. “I bring shame. I leave and ask to come here. Bosnian people here help me…. Samuel too. Now I live here and have papers.”

  “Do you like it?” I asked, and Luka nodded.

  “I work hard and get paid. I have apartment.” He stopped raking, leaning against the handle. “People here are nice. Samuel was nice.” He pulled off his gloves. “I miss him.” I knew from the searching look in his eyes that Luka was trying to assess what I was thinking.

  “You have a job and you’ll keep it.” I wasn’t going to pull his lifeline away. But, God, if I sold the cemetery, the first thing they’d do is let Luka go and bring in their own people. It occurred to me that maybe that was the real reason Uncle Samuel hadn’t sold it. Maybe he’d had offers, but that would have meant Luka losing his job.

  God, Uncle Samuel, what did you leave me? Yes, I got the house, the car, and the money, as well as a cemetery, but I also got your responsibilities. There was no fucking way I was putting Luka—or anyone—out on the street.

  I turned and went back to work with more force, venting some of my frustration. Uncle Samuel, I wish you’d left me an instruction manual.

  We cleared the far end of the area, maybe a quarter of what had been overgrown, and uncovered dozens of markers in conditions that ranged from surprisingly good to broken to pieces.

  “Treat everything with as much care as we can,” I told Luka.

  At lunchtime we put the tools in the shed, and I motioned to the car, planning to take Luka downtown to lunch. I was starved and needed something more substantial than fast food. I suspected Luka did as well.

  “What do you do for fun?” I asked him as we sat at the table. He and I were dirty from the hard work, but hard work felt good, and when he smiled through the smudges on his face, his smile was sexy.

  “I work,” Luka answered. “No time.”

  “Do you work at the restaurant tonight?” I asked as our food arrived. I loved Asian food, and while what we had in Carlisle wasn’t near authentic, some of it seemed decent and this was the best Asian restaurant around as far as I could tell.

  Luka shook his head.

  “Good. Then when we’re done, you can change and I’ll take you out for some fun.” It was the least I could do after the support he’d given me at the memorial service. Besides, I liked spending time with him, and seeing Luka smile would be worth a few dollars.

  “You no have to,” Luka said. I would have been surprised if he’d said anything else.

  “You don’t have to go with me if you don’t want to. But we both deserve a little fun.” I leaned over the table. “Come out with me for a little while.”

  Luka cracked a slight smile and nodded. “What we do?”

  “I don’t know yet. But I’ll think of someplace fun.” I turned my attention to what was left on my plate. I had definitely worked up an appetite and was sure the afternoon was going to be a repeat of the morning.

  I was right. Luka and I cleared more of the overgrown area, working toward the street. By five o’clock I was a sweaty mess, and Luka… well, Luka was wet, but he was anything but a mess. His clothes clung to him in all the right places, and I had a hard time looking away. We put the tools in the shed for now and locked it up, secured the chipper, and placed a tarp over it in case it rained.

  “I need to take you home so you can clean up,” I told Luka when we both got in the car. “I’ll drop you off and pick you up in forty-five minutes.” I hurried to Luka’s, then went right home and raced inside. I tugged off my clothes, dropping them in one of the baskets I’d found in the basement. Then I jumped in the shower to wash off the dirt, which had caked in places I didn’t think could get dirty. I dressed and hurried back out and off to Luka’s.

  I arrived early and sat in the car, initiating a web search of things happening in the area. The second page made me smile. I got out of the car, knocked on the door, and waited for Luka. When he opened the door, my chin hit the pavement. A pair of jeans hugged his hips, and a light cream shirt billowed over his chest, the top buttons open. The breeze fluttered the fabric, and I followed the line of rich skin with my eyes. It was hard not to.

  “Is okay?” he asked, and I nodded, willing myself to look away but unable to.

  “You look amazin
g.” As I got closer, I saw the clothes were older and a little worn, but I didn’t care at all.

  I wasn’t sure if it was okay to kiss him and hesitated a few seconds. We had slept together, he’d made my body sing, and I’d opened myself to him, but I was worried about a kiss? Sometimes I had to be the dumbest guy on earth. I stepped forward and kissed him gently, instantly wishing we weren’t standing in front of his building.

  “Are you hungry?” I asked.

  Luka nodded, the fire rising in his eyes. “Not for food,” he growled, and I backed away. Not because I didn’t want to go inside and let Luka ravish me, but I had promised him food and fun, and I intended to deliver on both… first.

  His belly rumbled, and we both laughed.

  “Come on. Let’s get you fed before your stomach eats itself.” I motioned toward the car, and we walked together. “Are you sore?”

  “You?” Luka asked.

  I nodded. I hated to admit it, but every muscle in my body ached. “I’m not used to that kind of work.” My job was very physical, but it was different movements, and my muscles protested. Though it was just a few blocks away, I drove to the Belgian restaurant. I’d called ahead for a reservation, and we were shown right to our table.

  “I get sore when I start too.” Luka smiled and flexed one arm. “Now I stronger.”

  I couldn’t argue with that. I’d felt his strength around me and watched him lifting and hauling all day. “What do you want to eat?”

  Luka looked at the menu and then leaned over the table. “It look good, but you sure?” he whispered, turning the menu to point to the prices.

  “Get what you’d like,” I told him with a smile. These prices were nothing like what I’d see in New York for the same thing, and I really wanted Luka to be happy. “It’s okay.”

  Luka nodded, staring at the menu once again. I wondered if he was having trouble understanding, but he didn’t ask any questions and placed his order for the veal chop when the server returned. I ordered the same thing, and the server hurried away, then brought our drinks and salads.