Survive and Conquer Read online

  “You’re doing a great job as far as I can see. The kids are happy, and the house is clean to my eyes. No one is being hurt, and you seem pretty happy yourself.” Chase snagged the last olive, munching on the sharp deliciousness. “Sometimes it’s a matter of priorities.” That was the story of his life. Chase knew he could never do all the things he wanted, so he prioritized.

  “What are yours?” Newton asked.

  “Making partner in the firm. Associates work hard for years to try to catch the attention of the partners and have a shot at being offered a position on the letterhead. I wanted to do it before I was thirty, and I might make it.” Chase leaned over the table. “There’s a big case that I’m meeting for tomorrow morning, and Milton, the senior partner, hinted that if it goes well, this could be the one that puts me over the top. Of course, he didn’t say that exactly—because we’re lawyers, nothing ever gets promised that blatantly in case it can be taken as a contract or something. But I know that’s what he meant.”

  “Will you work less hours if you make partner?” Newton asked.

  “A little. One of the things that I’d be able to do is decide on my own cases. I won’t have to take those that I don’t want or just have them handed to me. It will be a chance to really be my own person and build a legal brand for myself.” God, that was what Chase wanted more than anything else: to be the master of his own fate, to a degree at least.

  The server brought the house-made pasta, setting the impeccably presented bowls in front of them. The sauce was orangey-red, dotted with bacon, and as soon as Chase took a bite, he understood what Garth was saying. He had added some pepper, and the sauce leapt off the plate, leaving a little residual heat on the tongue.

  “Dang, this is good.” Newton tucked in like he was starving, and Chase smiled at his gusto.

  “When was the last time you ate something you didn’t cook?” Chase asked.

  “Well… my mother cooks for us when I take the kids to visit, but… things are strained with her. She did her best to understand me being gay, but it’s hard for her. She has been a lifelong Jehovah’s Witness, so she’s had to reconcile her faith and the fact that I’m gay. And I’m sorry to say that it hasn’t gone well. She loves her grandchildren, but keeps insisting that I should try to find a woman to settle down with and help me raise Rosie and Eric.” Newton took another bite. “Our visits often turn tense, and I sometimes go shopping or find errands to run while the kids spend time with her. We’ll have Sunday dinners with her sometimes, and she’ll cook, which is nice, and she always sends food home with us.” Newton continued eating. “I know my mom is doing the best she can, but I really wish she’d back off….”

  “I guess I’m lucky. My mom was supportive when I came out. I think in a way she was relieved. She had me when she was seventeen, so she isn’t much older than you are.” Chase wondered what she’d think of Newton. His mom was pretty understanding about most things.

  “What about your dad?” Newton asked.

  Chase hesitated the same way he always did when asked that question. So many of his dealings with the man who had fathered him were mixed up and turned around. “I don’t have anything to do with him,” he answered. Hating this subject, but figuring he should get it out of the way. “The last time I saw him was when I was ten. Mom and I did okay together, and I can live with that.” He took another bite of the pasta, but the liveliness had gone out of the dish. “Okay. I think that’s a long enough trip down Maudlin Road. Let’s change the subject. What sort of music do you like?”

  Newton’s expression brightened. “I love to listen to all kinds. The kids and I sometimes have dance parties. They dance, and I stand and rock as best I can. They love the music from Descendants, and Rosie will bop around the room to the music. Of course they like good old-fashioned rock ’n’ roll as well. I hope that one of them will take up music in some way. I’d get them any instruments or lessons they want. I wish I’d had the opportunity to play an instrument.”

  “You didn’t?” Chase asked. “I had piano lessons for eight years. I used to dream about playing on the stage at Carnegie Hall. That stage, and just a piano and me.” He sighed as his mind took him back to those daydreams.

  “Why didn’t you go for it?”

  Chase finished the last of his pasta and set his fork down. “My mom helped me a great deal after… well, after Dad was gone. She put a lot of things on hold, and when I realized the chances of me making it big in that line of work—and the fact that I could argue a tree out of its bark—I went to law school.”

  “Do you still play?”

  Chase nodded. “I have a piano at home. It was one of the things I bought for myself when I got one of my bonuses. I really wanted to be able to play again. And I think it helps center me.” It felt a little strange to be talking this much about himself, and yet right at the same time. “When I’m having trouble with a case or just can’t seem to get a handle on what I should do, I sit at the piano and let my fingers go where they want. It’s one of the few times that my mind will quiet and I can be alone with myself.”

  “Music is what I turn to when I’m upset. I put on some opera or a symphony after the kids have gone to sleep and sit in the room, letting the music surround me. My job is stressful either because I have more cases than I can handle, or there are things I’d like to be able to do to help and I can’t. A lot of times there just aren’t enough resources to go around. I had a family six months ago who needed a place to live, but because of some technicality, I couldn’t place them.” Newton slapped the table slightly. “She was out on her own and trying to get away from her husband, but hadn’t filed yet, so we had to take his income into consideration, even though he was refusing to give her anything.”

  “Did she get a court order to make him pay?”

  Newton shrugged. “I don’t know. I couldn’t help, and she fell off the radar.” He gripped the edge of the table. “I hope her family stepped in. It’s impossible to track everyone all the time, especially when they stop asking for help.”

  Chase understood that clearly. “Sometimes people show up in my office, but never pursue their case for whatever reason. I can’t take every case that crosses my desk, no matter how much I might want to.” He raised his gaze, meeting Newton’s gorgeous brown eyes as their server brought a slab of wood with a huge sizzling steak on top. He didn’t look away for a few seconds, loving being the center of the warm attention.

  Garth set the side dishes on the table and stepped back. Their server had already stepped away. “Dang, you two,” he said softly. “I sort of figured this was a date, but this table is as hot as my kitchen.” He smiled, and Chase tried not to roll his eyes.

  Newton sat straighter and turned to Garth. “You’re a naughty man. I like it.” His smile was radiant with a touch of mischief, and when he turned to him, Chase had to stop himself from pulling on his shirt as the temperature in the room rose by a good ten degrees.

  “Chase, this man is a keeper.” Garth took a large knife and cut the steak into strips across the grain, then filled their plates before wishing them a good meal and leaving the table.

  “The potatoes are marvelous, with the herbs and olive oil,” Newton said, reaching for his phone when it vibrated. He paled and slid away from the table a little, making a call. “Yes?” He listened quietly, growing more tense. “Give him some water and let him eat the potato chips. With the episode he had a few days ago, we need to keep his sodium levels up.” Some of the worry shifted out of Newton’s shoulders.

  Chase wanted to stand and go up behind him, to massage his taut muscles, but that wasn’t something he could do here.

  “Can I talk to Eric?” Newton drew his chair nearer to the table. Eric must have come on the phone. “Did you have a good time? … And you’re home now? … Are you feeling okay? Remember, you aren’t to bend down, and you need to stay settled. Have you been drinking water every hour like I told you?” He smiled. “Good. Now have the chips that I set aside for you
, and make sure you have your pillows on the bed so you’re sitting up a little. And when I get home, I’ll come up and say good night, I promise.” He chuckled, and then Rosie must have come on. He soothed her and said good night, once again promising to say good night when he got home. Then he hung up with a grin.

  “Is Eric okay?” Chase asked between bites. Those two kids had really gotten to him. Even when he’d been hurting, Eric hadn’t fussed or complained… well, not too much at any rate. He’d sat in the back seat, scared and worn out, waiting while Newton did his best to keep him calm. And the way little Rosie had snapped into action, brought the bag, probably as she’d done before—what a sweetheart.

  “He’s fine. Eric wanted the chips, and the sitter wasn’t so sure. I should have been more specific with her.” He set his phone to the side and slowly cut a piece of steak, then hummed as he chewed. Damn, that sound zinged up Chase’s spine. It was sensuous and sexy.

  He took his own bite, enjoying the sear and the seasoning. Garth did an amazing steak, and the rest of the meal was quintessentially Italian without being… normal. It all had zip and an extra spice that was all Garth. He took classic Italian dishes and made them his own, which made them special.

  “I just worry, especially after one of his episodes. I’m probably overprotective.” Newton returned to eating, and their conversation died away a little. Which was okay.

  “Have you dated a lot?” Chase asked as he started to get full and figured Newton had to be as well. They had nearly polished off the beef and the potatoes, along with the grilled vegetables.

  “Not really. Before I adopted Rosie, one of my coworkers decided that I needed to get out of the house and away from Eric for a while. So she fixed me up with a friend of hers. Apparently she thought he and I would get along.” Newton rolled his eyes dramatically.

  “Things crashed and burned?” Chase asked, amused at Newton’s grimace.

  “Nuclear.” Newton groaned. “He wasn’t a good fit at all. The guy hated kids. When he came to the house and Eric hurried to the door with me, he took a step back and nearly fell off the stoop. The sitter hadn’t arrived yet, so I asked him to sit down. Eric climbed onto the sofa next to him and started talking. The kid isn’t shy—never has been. I went to get my date something to drink, and by the time I came back, Stone looked as though he wanted to coat both himself and Eric in Purell.” Newton actually smiled and then chuckled. “When I look back on it now, it’s funny, but at time, I didn’t know how to deal with it. Stone was really handsome and smoldering hot. So we waited for the sitter, and I went out with him.” He drank some soda and shook his head. “What a mistake that was. Stone made a reservation at an expensive restaurant… you know, the kind with high prices and almost no food. He drank nearly as much as he ate, and then after the meal, he got a call and had to rush away….”

  “The bastard stuck you with the check?” Chase’s eyes widened. “What a slime.”

  “Yup. Took half the grocery money for the week to pay it. Then I had to call a friend to take me home because he had insisted on driving.” Newton shook his head. “Stone actually had the guts to call me the next day, apologizing and completely not understanding why I wasn’t interesting in having another ‘go’ with him.” He leaned over the table. “I think the guy might have had a cane fetish of some kind. I’m not really sure.” He winked.

  Chase coughed as he tried to laugh. “Most likely he was just a clueless jerk. What did your colleague say when you told her?”

  Newton’s expression grew serious. “She shrugged and offered to fix me up with another friend. I declined.” He remained serious for a second, then burst out laughing. “That’s the truth. She tried to fix me up again. I figured once was more than enough.”

  “It sounds like it.” Chase sat back in his chair. “I promise I won’t stick you with the check or leave you stranded.”

  “Then that will make this the best date I’ve had in ten years,” Newton quipped, and they shared a smile.

  Chase wondered if that could be true. Was this only the second date Newton had had in all that time? It seemed inconceivable to him.

  “How about you?”

  “I’ve gone out a few times, but nothing was ever serious. Most of the guys I dated were interested in sex, which is fine, but I didn’t have time for much more than that. And then there were the guys who wanted to settle down and get married.”

  “You don’t want that?” Newton asked.

  “Guess I never really gave it a lot of thought. I’ve been working so hard for so long… and at the time, settling down and putting the kind of effort into a relationship that they required wasn’t something I could do.”

  “And can you now?” Newton pushed his chair back and reached down. Chase leaned to the side, watching as Newton rubbed his leg. Chase got to his feet and pulled out the other chair, then helped Newton put his foot on it. Newton stretched out with a soft sigh. “Thank you. That helps.” He drank some water.

  “To answer your question, I don’t know. I’ve been alone for a long time, but I’ve never been really good at relationships. I can do hookups, and I dated guys in college and stuff. But I was always too driven, and they all told me eventually that they were never going to be first in my life because I was in a relationship with my studies or my job and there was no room for them.” Chase shrugged, trying to pass it off as unimportant. But coming home to an empty house each night was getting boring. He didn’t have a lot of friends because he had never really taken the time to cultivate any. “I know how it sounds.” Even to his own ears, it sounded sad and rather stupid.

  Newton’s reaction wasn’t what he was expecting. He actually smiled. “You’re a turtle. I never would have guessed that about you after seeing you in court the other day. You threw yourself into the case and seemed so animated. But when things get tough or you need to protect yourself, you pull into your shell.”

  “Excuse me?” Chase asked.

  “There’s nothing bad about it. But think about it. You’ve hinted a couple times that something bad happened to you… and your dad was probably the culprit. So you’ve pulled inward.”

  Chase wasn’t sure he liked that analogy.

  “I’m not being critical. See, I’m a turtle too.” Newton raised his eyebrows rather seductively.

  “I know you hurt your leg, but why the turtle thing? I understand mine. I have trouble trusting people. I bet you could figure that out pretty easily.”

  “Yeah… well… there are lots of reasons. The biggest one is that….” He swallowed and shook his head. “I can’t talk about it. This is a first date, and you don’t need to hear about all that. It would take the rest of the evening, and I’d much rather talk about something else more pleasant. Like my last root canal.”

  “That bad?” Chase asked teasingly. “So what would you like to talk about? Favorite movies? I love action movies and old films. I was watching the original movie M*A*S*H the other day. I didn’t remember how funny it was until I saw it as an adult.”

  “Yeah. I love that too. I like musicals so I can sing along. Though Eric and Rosie tell me that I can’t sing for crap and put their hands over their ears when I do.” Newton grinned. “That’s half the reason I sing, just to get a rise out of those two stinkers. I watched the original Sunset Boulevard, and man was it campy and intense at the same time.”

  “I love that movie,” Chase said, his excitement rising. “All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up.” He mugged for Newton, who laughed.

  Their server brought the check, and Chase handed him his credit card without looking at it. “Garth makes a great tiramisu, but if you want dessert, I thought we could go to Kopp’s. They have mint chip frozen custard as the flavor of the day, and I love that stuff.” He signed the check when the server returned.

  “Sounds good. I don’t care for their food, but I could get some custard to go for the kids tomorrow.” Newton grabbed his cane from the back of the chair and used it to stand, then w
alked slowly toward the door.

  “Does your foot hurt all the time?” Chase asked once they had stepped outside.

  “Pretty much. There isn’t anything they can do about it. At first they thought I was going to lose it. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better if they had removed it. I could have a prosthetic and it wouldn’t hurt so much. But at the very least it’s still mine.” Newton stopped. “I hate talking about it because everyone doesn’t need to hear me whine.”

  Chase checked his watch. “I’ve been with you for three hours now. You’ve mentioned it twice, and neither time did you whine.” He came closer, putting an arm around Newton’s shoulder. “I’d like to hear what happened sometime when you feel like talking.” Of course that meant he’d have to explain to Newton what had happened to him. But then maybe that wasn’t so bad. To his surprise, the idea didn’t fill him with dread the way talking about his past usually did. He could trust Newton with his hurt.

  “That’s a deal. Now how about some of this frozen custard you promised me?” Newton said.

  Chase led Newton to the car, drove back toward his home, pulled off at Silver Spring Drive, and headed down to the frozen custard stand. “Is your foot okay? I can get the custard and we can eat it in the car,” Chase offered.

  “I’d love you forever.” Newton sighed.

  Chase lowered the windows and hurried inside. He had to wait in line, but he didn’t mind. Chase liked doing things for Newton. Maybe it was because it seemed Newton was the one doing things for everyone else and Chase thought it was time someone helped him. But more likely it was the smile that went all the way to his eyes that Chase received as he approached the car with two dishes of mint chocolate chip that smelled as heavenly as it tasted.

  Chase slipped into his seat, handed Newton his dish, and stifled a groan at the enticing sounds Newton made as he ate. “I know the custard is good, but are you eating it or making love to that spoon?” He had to tease at the little hums of delight that sent a wave of heat strong enough to melt the frozen treat in seconds racing through him. More than once tonight, Chase had wondered if Newton would make those same sounds in bed. God, he wanted to find out.