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Heart Unheard Page 4
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James came over and hugged him as well, then placed one of the fancy tablet-type laptops on his tray table, keeping the keyboard to the side and the display where Scott could see it. Trevor made adjustments and then kissed James on the cheek before sitting down.
You and I are going to have a talk, James typed.
“Okay.” Scott smiled. “Why do I feel like I’m being taken to the principal’s office?”
Ha, ha…. No. I want to talk to you about what’s going to happen, and I want to give you the chance to tell me how all of this is making you feel. James paused, and then more words appeared. I was younger than you when I lost my sight, but I could see once. So I know what I’m missing, just like you. It’s a loss that you need to grieve for.
“You mean like someone died?”
Yes! Exactly. Your mom told me the doctors are still hopeful that your hearing might return, but you are going to have to prepare for the possibility that it might not. That means you will need to learn to navigate the world as a deaf person.
Scott closed his eyes as the tears started, and Trevor took his hand firmly in his. Scott turned to him but tilted his head toward the screen.
I know it’s hard, and you’re going to be angry and pissed off at the world. I was. That’s normal. But always remember that your family and everyone who knows and loves you are here to try to help you. They care. James removed his hands from the keyboard and slowly made his way to the side of the bed. He leaned over and hugged Scott once again, this time with intensity. He didn’t hold him tightly, just firmly, and he didn’t back away.
The dam that had been building up inside him burst, and Scott put an arm around James as the tears flowed freely. Damn, he’d thought he’d been handling this so well, and all it took was James to be with him for five minutes and he was coming apart. He sniffed as James continued to hold him while more and more of the eggshell-thin dam came crashing down.
“What do I do?” he asked, and James released him gently and felt his way back to the computer.
You help others help you!
Scott sniffed once more as James continued typing.
I have some contacts at the School for the Deaf, and I’ve already messaged Grant, the head of the school. I will give his contact information to your mom and dad, and you can set up classes for all three of you to start sign language. They will also teach you to read lips.
“What if my hearing eventually comes back?”
Then you will have a skill that will serve you well for years to come. James paused, and Trevor moved closer to him. They had a quick conversation, and then James resumed. You’re luckier than most. You were able to hear and thus learned to talk. So that gives you an advantage over people who were born deaf.
“But I want to hear,” Scott said.
James turned to him and actually scowled. He didn’t have a lot of facial expressions, so when he reacted that strongly, Scott was pretty sure he’d pissed him off.
Tough titty, James typed, and Scott’s mouth hung open. We get the lot in life that we’re dealt. I didn’t ask to become blind, but it happened, and now I help others. You need to pick yourself up and face what’s ahead of you straight on. No mollycoddling or acting like a child. You’re an adult. You can be mad at the world if you want, but pull on your big-boy panties and do what you have to do.
“Jesus. Are you this way with your students?”
When I have to be. Life isn’t going to be as easy now. The strong, smart, and resilient thrive despite any adversity put in their way. I know you’re one of those people. Remember, I saw how you helped Lee.
Scott went cold. “Lee. Oh God. What am I going to do?” He groaned. “How am I going to talk to him? I can learn sign language, but he can’t see it, and I don’t know if he has a computer like you do. Besides, what good is that going to do us when we’re working on cars?” He turned to Trevor. “How am I going to be able to work?”
Trevor crossed his arms and spoke briefly to James, who typed for him. You’ll work it out. Nothing is insurmountable if you want it and are willing to work at it hard enough. You can’t hear and Lee can’t see. Complement each other and work it out. He can hear you just like I can, and Lee does have one of these computers. I helped get it for him.
Scott sighed, unconvinced. “Okay, if you think so.”
Things aren’t going to be easy. But if you care about your friendship with Lee, you’ll work out a way. James paused, then started a new line. Brent told me to tell you that he and Lee will come up tonight to see you.
Brent had been there every day, and each time Scott wondered what he wanted. “That’s nice.” He smiled, genuinely happy. “Brent usually comes after work. I’ve told him it isn’t necessary, and above the call of duty for my boss, but he comes anyway.”
Trevor and James had a quick conversation and then James began typing again. Brent was the person who asked us to come talk to you. He wants you to do well. James considered his words, actually putting his finger to his lips before lowering his hand again. We all do. The more friends and people who care for you to support you, the better off you are. James seemed to be mulling something over. I want to tell you a story. It may be a little awkward this way, but you need to hear it.
“I do?” Scott felt strange, like he was talking to a computer, his attention riveted to the screen.
Yes. See, you know I went blind at twelve. Well, after that, my mom was there for me. She did everything that she could to help me. And I came to rely heavily on her.
“I can understand that.”
James nodded and continued typing. Two things happened. I wanted to be independent, and that hurt her because she thought I was turning my back on her. And then once she accepted that, she began to resent me because she’d spent all her efforts helping me. It was pretty weird. The thing is, I relied on my mother for just about everything and I think it might have burned her out.
“What are you trying to tell me?” Scott asked.
James hesitated, his hands on the keyboard. Independence is one thing, but we’ll always need help in one way or another. The world is designed for people who can both see and hear, so navigating it can be tough sometimes. The bigger our support group, the better. Don’t write off anyone who is willing to stand by you and help you. James held out his hand, and Trevor took it and gave it a squeeze before letting go. Then James went back to typing. I didn’t figure things out until I met Trevor.
“I promise to do my best.”
Good. What questions do you have?
“You don’t happen to know how long it takes to learn sign language?” Scott asked.
James turned to Trevor, who spoke to him briefly. He says about two years for beginner to intermediate level, at least the internet says so. It’s a whole new language, and your entire family should learn. But if you attend the School for the Deaf, you’ll probably pick it up faster because you’ll be around people who use it all the time.
Scott sighed and closed his eyes. This was so overwhelming.
James touched his hand. You’re a smart man—you’ll figure out ways to communicate with people. You just need to be patient. Sign language isn’t going to help you with anyone who doesn’t understand it. Just give yourself a chance. It was the same for me when I needed to learn Braille.
He skipped to the next line. Anything else? We can always talk any time you want.
“Thanks, James. I was really lost. That’s probably normal too, I suppose.”
It’s only been a few days and it’s a lot to digest. Give yourself a break and take things one day at a time. James closed the computer and came over to hug him again. Without a word, James managed to convey that everything truly was going to be all right. Hell, if James could manage to thrive, then Scott would do the same.
Feeling better and at least a little in control of something, along with the initial formulation of a plan, Scott decided that being proactive and contacting the people at the school might be good for him.
H
e said goodbye to Trevor and James as they got ready to leave. Trevor probably would have ruffled his hair if it wasn’t for the bandages, but he leaned close, putting his cheek to Scott’s. It was such an intimate and caring gesture that Scott felt the tears welling once again.
“James, give me a hug, please,” Scott said, and James took Trevor’s place, stroking his arm. He didn’t need words to know how both of them felt about him, and it was pretty special. Trevor was his ultimate boss, but Scott knew he had his support. Then James backed away, and Scott followed them with his eyes as they left the room and his parents came back inside.
His mother fussed over him for a few minutes and then sat down in the chair, presumably once she knew he was okay.
“I think they helped, Mom.”
She reached for a pad and pen. You have some very nice friends. All of them.
Scott smiled, his eyes heavy. “Thanks, Mom.” He yawned and closed his eyes. His head ached a little, and he hoped some rest and some time without having to think would help. It didn’t take long before he’d dozed off.
HE WASN’T sure how long he was out, but they were bringing dinner. Scott ate slowly, the food tasteless, so he only had enough to make the hunger in his belly go away. After that he pushed the tray aside and lay back, dozing once again. Being in a world of silence, once he closed his eyes, it was remarkably easy to fall to sleep. There was nothing to disturb him, and unless he was touched, he could exist in his own little world for a while.
A TAP on his shoulder pulled him out of his nap, and he woke to Lee’s smile. Scott sat up and pulled his best friend into a hug. It startled Lee for a second, but then he hugged him back.
“They said you were coming, and I’m so glad to see you.” Damn, he wanted to hear what Lee was saying, but he didn’t need to. Lee’s shoulders shook, and Scott looked over to Brent, who was looking down at him with a half smile and tears running down his cheeks. That told him a lot about how Lee was reacting. “I’m going to be okay. Everything works except my ears, though they don’t seem to know why, other than the swelling in my brain must have affected that part.” He didn’t want to let Lee go. A lot of people thought they were more than friends, but neither he nor Lee thought of the other that way.
Brent wrote on a notepad and showed it to him. He was so worried.
“It’s okay. I’m going to be okay. I promise that once I get out of here, we’ll figure out how you can talk to me, and then we can start working together again. I’ll be your eyes and you be my ears.” Scott patted Lee on the shoulder, and Lee lifted his head, smiling at him and nodding.
Lee turned away, and Brent wrote and held up another page. I’ve been keeping your tools and things just where you left them… where we left them.
Scott continued hugging Lee because it was the best method of communication they had, and Lee still seemed upset. “Hopefully they’ll let me out of here in a few days. They want to make sure that there isn’t any infection in my head and that my ribs are healing well. When they do, you can come over. James said you have a tablet like his, so we can talk that way.”
Lee nodded and stepped away to stand next to Brent. A nurse came in to check him over, and then Scott and Lee chatted for a while before Lee got ready to go. Lee and Brent said goodbye, hugging him again, and then left the room.
His mother picked up the pad from where Brent had put it, then set it down when she was done writing. Like I said, you have really good friends. Especially Brent.
Scott squinted. “He stood there and didn’t come close at all. He never even talked to me.”
She snatched up the paper and wrote again. There are a lot of ways to show that someone means something to you. She flipped the page and wrote some more. It was Brent who arranged with us for your friends James and Trevor to come up here and talk to you. He also brought Lee so he could see you. She fixed him with a stare and then set the notepad on the rolling table. She leaned over the bed to kiss him on the forehead. His mom looked like she’d aged a decade in the last few days, but some of the worry had gone out of her face and she looked less haunted.
“Good night, Mom.” He took her hand. “Thank you for everything.” He squeezed it and let her go. Then he turned to his dad and hugged him. “Thanks, Dad. I’m going to get through this. I don’t know how yet.” He handed his dad the paper James had given him. “He’s a friend of James’s at the School for the Deaf. James said he messaged him. So maybe he can help me.”
His dad patted his hand and nodded. For a few seconds, Scott thought he saw pride in his father’s eyes. Then he leaned down and hugged him. His dad had never been a tactile kind of man, but Scott was so glad that seemed to be changing.
His mom and dad left the room, and he was alone.
Scott reached for the pad his mother had been using and flipped through the messages until he found the one about Brent. He stared at it, trying to make sense of why Brent would do this for him. His heart leaped with hope, but he pushed it away. He’d had a lot of hopes dashed in the last few days. Brent was being nice. Nothing more. At least he told himself that, but he didn’t want to believe it. Hope kept springing up like a well inside him, not matter how much it hurt when those hopes were dashed time and time again.
Chapter 3
BRENT WANDERED the service bays of the station, making sure everything was as it should be and checking that none of the guys needed help. Lee was working with Clyde, one of the younger mechanics, and they got along fine together. Lee was liked by all of the guys who worked at the garage, and they all looked out for him. Clyde was patient, but the two of them didn’t have the deep symbiotic chemistry that Lee and Scott had. Still, it was good to see Lee working. He always seemed happy here, but with Scott gone, so was some of the light that made Lee sparkle.
“Scott is coming home today,” Lee said as Brent approached where he and Clyde were working on an old Dodge Dart. It was the owner’s baby, and she’d had it since it was new and wasn’t willing to part with it.
“Yes. I talked to his mother this morning, and she said she planned to bring him by here on his way home so he could see everyone.” Damn, Brent was a hell of a lot more excited than he had a right to be. He was thrilled that Scott was coming home, but….
No, he was determined to push the doubts away. When Scott had been hurt, Brent had told himself that he was going to stand up for what he wanted. Every time he closed his eyes, it took him just a few seconds to pull up an image of the two of them, maybe together at one of the festivals at the Summerfest Grounds, Scott smiling. It didn’t matter that Scott couldn’t hear. That was just part of who he was now.
“Brent, are you all right?” Lee asked as he slowly righted himself from under the car’s hood. “You’ve been standing there without moving. Is something wrong with the car? Am I doing something wrong?” He often asked that question, always afraid his lack of sight would get in the way.
Brent needed to remember that Lee might not be able to see, but he had some sort of radar sometimes. “No. I’m fine. And of course you haven’t done anything wrong.” He’d just been woolgathering when he needed to be working. Brent was doing that a lot lately—well, that and beating himself up for two years of sitting around on his cowardice. He lightly placed his hand on Lee’s shoulder just to reassure him. Brent normally wasn’t a touchy-feely guy at work, but Lee was the exception. He needed to be touched just so he could be connected with. It was something Brent had needed to learn and had come to understand. With Lee, touch was welcome.
Brent waited as the guys went back to work, and then moved on. When he was done, he returned to his office to review the day’s schedule of appointments, as well as the one for the week. He reviewed all the reporting data that Trevor needed and was deep in his files when his door opened. He expected to see Trevor, but as soon as he caught the scent of violets rather than oil, he knew it wasn’t his boss.
“Sweetheart. You’re always working and I never see you.” His mom set her purse on the chair as Brent
stood and came around his desk to give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“You look good, Mom. I really like your hair.” Brent turned his head to take in the slight red tint. “It’s perfect for you.”
She beamed. “Thank you for noticing, dear. Your father never did.” She hugged him again. “So, how are you? I see you aren’t dead. You could call me once in a while.”
“I talked to you last week, and you know the whole phone thing works both ways.” He mock glared at her and motioned her to a chair, while he leaned on his desk. “Other than to give me grief, what brings you by?”
“I need my car looked at. It’s making a squealing sound sometimes.” She lowered herself into the chair with a sigh. His mother was in her late fifties and usually quiet. She hadn’t changed her hairstyle in years, but the sunny floral dress she was wearing had to be new.
“So what gives with the new look? You look amazing.”
She bit her lower lip. “I’ve… well…. One of the gentlemen at work. He’s in accounting, and his wife passed a few years ago of cancer.” She picked up her purse and placed it on her lap as a kind of shield. “He asked me out this weekend, and….”
Brent grinned and blinked a few times. “Are you going to do it?”
“Yes,” she breathed. “Your father was an amazing man, but he’s been gone a long time….” She opened her purse and pulled out a tissue. “I always thought that part of my life was over. I mean, there’s no one who can ever replace Allan, but….” Her eyes sparkled. “I think it’s time I tried living again. Mike and I have been having lunch a few times a week at the office. We’ve become friends of a sort. I knew Josephine, his wife, from office functions, and….” She wrung her hands. “What do you think?” She sounded so nervous.
Brent gathered her into his arms, hugging her tightly. “I think it’s an amazing idea. And I’m happy for you.” When he released her, she wiped her eyes one more time.