Unfamiliar Waters Read online

  But he was in many ways, and that was part of what was scaring Garrett half to death.

  Garrett sat on the rock at the edge of the pool, watching the cascading water. “There’s knowing about sex and then knowing what sex can mean, especially when you love someone. Sex and love mixed is very different and really special. Much better than sex alone.” He could barely believe they were having this conversation. He’d just met the guy yesterday. Garrett tried to think of a time when he’d ever just met someone and had such a personal conversation right off the bat. Of course, the people he met hadn’t grown up on an island away from all other people. Nigel didn’t have all the preconceived notions of how he should behave derived from the wider world. All those things that everyone learned from the other kids—peer pressure, self-consciousness, teenage angst, the traumas of middle school and high school—all of those were probably missing for him.

  Nigel carefully sat down next to him. He was clearly confused and watched Garrett as though he were speaking another language. “Why not just follow what you want? If I want to have sex, and you want to have sex… then why can’t we just have sex? If it feels good and makes us both happy, what’s wrong with that?” His argument was completely logical—except Garrett knew sex wasn’t just logic and fun, at least for him.

  “Because there’s more than that.” He sighed and stared at the water, unable to look at Nigel. “I had someone in my life who meant very much to me. He was the other half of my soul. I met him in the seventh grade, and we were friends for a while until he moved away. I was seventeen then and thought my world would break into pieces. But, of course, it didn’t.” All the highs were so very high, and all the lows exaggerated to the very depths of hell. Sometimes he thought it was a miracle he’d survived being a teenager at all. No wonder his mother had gray hair. “I met him again when I was a little younger than you, and almost without me knowing it, he became the center of my world. I loved my job, but I adored him.” Garrett closed his eyes, wondering why in the hell he was even talking about this. He dipped his hands in the water, splashing into the pool just to do something to keep them from shaking. “He was at a business dinner with a client and on his way home. It was late at night, and a kid who barely had his license… he was drunk…. They hit so hard… the cars—they caught fire….” That was the day that Garrett’s happiness died, the day he stopped living, and after the funeral and the interment, he’d buried himself in his job. Garrett still wasn’t sure he was ready to rejoin the living.

  “So, when you think about having sex, you think of him…?” Nigel kicked his feet. “I can understand that… I think. My books are full of stories about people who still hurt for a long time after someone dies. Like it doesn’t really heal. It’s a common theme. I always wondered if it was true or if it was a storytelling device.”

  “Losing him was like losing a part of myself and knowing I was never going to get it back.” Garrett smacked the water, sending spray shooting everywhere.

  “I’m sorry,” Nigel said softly.

  “You said you lost your parents. Do you remember how that felt?” Garrett didn’t dare turn or he’d lose the tenuous hold that was keeping him from breaking down. And, dammit, he’d worked and held himself together for a year now.

  “Yes. I was young, but I remember the funeral and holding Jules’s hand as he cried. We had to be strong, so I waited to cry until I was alone. Then my aunt said that she was going to take care of us and that we’d have a nice house in an amazing place. She brought us here, and we’ve been on this island ever since.” Nigel smiled. “It’s nice here, and we have everything he and I could need.” He jumped to his feet. “I know everything about this island. Stuff that Aunt Phyllis and Fairfield don’t know about. Like the cave up in that hill, or that there’s another little stream that runs over there.” He pointed. “I’ve been everywhere on this island, and so has Jules. Even to the village.”

  “So you don’t bring your aunt along with you all the time?”

  Nigel shook his head. “Aunt Phyllis likes the inside. She cooks and stuff like that, but she doesn’t like to leave the property.” He finally blushed over something. “She hates snakes, and Jules loves to tease her and tell her stories about the ones that are on the island.” Nigel grinned something fierce. “There are no snakes here at all. Some lizards, but not snakes.”

  “What is the village like? Can I get some supplies there?” Garrett asked. “Maybe you could take me.”

  Nigel’s expression clouded over for a second, and Garrett reevaluated his analysis. Maybe Nigel wasn’t as guileless as he’d originally thought. “I could, but Fairfield and Aunt Phyllis would get angry if I did. Aunt Phyllis and the village leader don’t get along at all. The only part of the island she doesn’t own is the area around the village, and she wants to buy it.” Nigel shook his head. “I know she wants to put them off the island. She told me so once. But I don’t want her to. They’re nice people who are trying to live a quiet life. Sometimes I see them when I’m out camping and stuff.” Nigel colored, and the shade of red on his cheeks was adorable. “I used to watch one of the boys in the village….”

  The bell rang, carried by the wind.

  “I should go.”

  “What is that?”

  “Just Fairfield. He rings the bell to tell us it’s time for dinner. He knows that Jules or I can be all over the island, so he doesn’t try to call us. If we’re late, then we have to get our own food.” Nigel shrugged. “Like that’s such a big deal.” He pulled on his shirt. “Do you know how to get back to your beach?”

  “Just down that trail?” Garrett pointed, and Nigel nodded, taking his first steps toward the jungle.

  “I have to go, but I’ll come to see you as soon as I can get away again.” He hurried down the trail, leaving Garrett wondering as he watched him go. Was Nigel sneaking off to see him? And why would he feel the need to sneak away?

  “I’ll stay a while longer,” Garrett agreed with a nod.

  Nigel waved and smiled before turning back around and disappearing into the dense undergrowth. Garrett pulled his shirt over his head, getting the clingy fabric down his back, and then rinsed a pebble out of his water shoes before heading down the path, turning to look at where Nigel had disappeared.

  Garrett reached the beach and sat on a piece of driftwood stuck in the sand. Something wasn’t quite right. Nigel lived on this beautiful island with an aunt and a caretaker. That was unusual to say the least. Where had they gotten the money to live and to buy the island? It wasn’t likely that they lived strictly off what the island could produce, and Nigel had said that this Fairfield guy periodically went for supplies, yet Nigel and Jules never went along or got off the island. What the hell was going on here, and why did Nigel allude to the fact that he had to sneak away? As the old saying went, something definitely smelled fishy.

  The waves lapped at the beach, and Garrett looked out at his boat, which suddenly seemed exposed. To what, he wasn’t sure. But his gut told him there was something off, and he needed to try to figure out what that was. Maybe Nigel was in some sort of trouble.

  Garrett thought about going back to the boat, pulling up anchor, and sailing around the island to get a look at the rest of it, but then thought the better of it. If something suspicious was going on, why tip his hand? No one except Nigel seemed to know he was here, and if that was true, Garrett wanted to keep it that way. He figured he’d stay until Nigel returned and then would follow him back to the house and scope things out for himself.

  With a course of action set, he walked into the water and swam back to the boat to wait for Nigel’s return.

  Chapter 4

  THE BELL rang again, and after a little while, as the sky reddened and the clouds blazed with color, Nigel appeared on the beach. He waved, and Garrett waved back. Not up for swimming this time, he climbed into the small inflatable dinghy and rowed the short distance to shore.

  “I came back as soon as I could.” Nigel hurried over t
o him and helped Garrett pull the boat up on shore before kissing him. The joy that radiated from Nigel took on a life of its own and carried Garrett right along with it.

  “Are you sneaking away so you can come see me?” Garrett asked, stroking Nigel’s cheek. So much for subtlety. His plans flew out the window as soon as he had Nigel in his arms.

  Nigel glanced downward. There was no guile in him in the least. “Yes. Fairfield is very protective, and he keeps a watch on us. Jules nearly drowned last year when a current got hold of him. I was able to rescue him in my canoe, but Fairfield has been extra protective ever since. I think he takes it as his personal responsibility to keep us safe.” Nigel blinked a few times. “But there are some things he doesn’t need to know, and I like that I can have you all to myself. There are just the four of us and the villagers on the island, so we share just about everything. But I like that I don’t have to share you. I can make believe that you’re mine… at least for as long as you stay.”

  “Are Fairfield and your aunt married?” Garrett asked. “Or involved with each other?”

  Nigel giggled and put his hand over his mouth. “Fairfield is too old.”

  “You know, people of different ages fall in love, especially when they’ve been together somewhere, like on an island, for a long time.”

  Nigel tilted his head slightly, like he’d never thought of the possibility. Then he shivered and rolled his eyes.

  “I take it the idea is kind of disturbing.”

  “Like eating a rotten coconut.” Nigel made a face, complete with scrunched-up eyes and his tongue sticking out. Garrett chuckled under his breath, trying with all his might not to think about that perfect pink tongue. “That’s not tasty.”

  “I don’t suppose it is.” Garrett wanted to ask him more about his home and his aunt and caretaker, but Nigel took his hand and began tugging him up the beach toward an old rockfall, worn smooth by the waves, that made the northern boundary of the beach.

  “Come on. It’s fun to climb.” Nigel scampered over, and Garrett followed.

  The rockfall created a second, much smaller cove where the waves had carved the island back a good twenty feet and left a tidal pool. Even in the setting sun, Garrett could see marine life filling the pool, scooting away as they approached.

  “Where are we going?” Garrett asked as Nigel continued forward, around the edge of the pool and then to the far edge of the jungle. A cave had been carved into a rock wall that went up twenty feet or so.

  “The waves don’t reach here anymore,” Nigel said as he went inside. That might have been true, but Garrett wondered what else used the cave. It wasn’t too deep, and he stepped around a small firepit. “Be right back.” Nigel hurried away and returned with an armload of sticks and dry leaves that he used to make a small fire. “Are you hungry? I can get some food. Just feed the sticks into the fire.” Then Nigel was gone, and Garrett sat alone in the cave with a crackling fire.

  Part of him, the skeptical and self-preservation pieces of his personality, wondered if Nigel had brought him here as a setup. That had to be the stupidest notion Garrett had ever had, but still… as darkness closed in around the mouth of the cave, it became pretty clear that he wasn’t going anywhere tonight. Sure, he could follow the water back to the old rockfall, but getting over it while not being able to see would be impossible.

  He shivered in the warm night air, wondering just what he’d allowed himself to get mixed up in. Part of him said that, curiosity be damned, he should pack up and get the hell out of here just as soon as it got light. This island, and Nigel in particular, was fraught with pitfalls. And Garrett still needed to somehow come to grips with the fact that David was gone and determine how he was going to live without him.

  Garrett stared into the open flames as memories danced across his mind like the light from the flames waltzed on the walls of the cave. David loved camping and sitting around the campfire. Really, he just liked making out in the firelight, be it at a B and B, a campground, or in the middle of the woods. If Garrett built a fire, within ten minutes, David’s eyes would have been glossed over and he’d turn to him, lean in close, and the necking would be on. More than once, when they were in a tent, Garrett had had to silence David, because, man, he was a sound machine during sex—the pushiest bottom in the history of gaydom. Garrett smiled to himself and let the memories run their course.

  David had been the antidote to the ugly and inhumane world Garrett encountered in his job. Without David, there was nothing to counter the work, so it had taken over. He loved his job, but he’d escaped into it. If he was busy and tired as shit, he couldn’t think about what was missing. Now, out here, smack-dab in the middle of nowhere, he had nothing but time to think and—

  “I found some papaya and mango,” Nigel said. “I love these.” He plopped down next to Garrett and pulled a small folding knife out of his pocket, peeled the fruit, and cut off pieces. “Aunt Phyllis makes this amazing dessert—she calls it Magic Mango Mousse. Jules and I love it.” Nigel lifted a slice of mango, and Garrett found himself watching Nigel’s fingers, a little mesmerized by the delicate way they moved. He absently opened his mouth, and Nigel slipped a slice of mango past his lips. He chewed and swallowed the tangy sweetness. Nigel was ready with another piece, and Garrett took the offered bite. “I personally like mango better than papaya.”

  They finished the fruit, and Nigel stepped to the mouth of the cave and tossed the peels and stuff into the water. Then he returned and started preparing the papaya. Garrett had to agree—he liked the mango better himself, but papaya was good too.

  “What is this place?”

  “My cave,” Nigel answered with a grin. “I think, before the rockfall, the waves came all the way up here, but the fall changed the pattern and this filled with sand, creating the pool and leaving the cave dry. It must have happened a long time ago, though.”

  “Let me guess—this library of yours has books on geology.”

  “I have books on lots of things. I like books. Jules likes the ocean even more than me. That’s why he was almost pulled away. He was following a small octopus, trying to get a better look at it, and got caught in the current. He knows nearly every square inch of the sea floor and all the creatures of the island. He’s like Tarzan, except under the water. I swear sometimes he can talk to them. Most of the time they don’t seem afraid of him either. It’s really quite interesting.”

  Nigel finished feeding him the last of the fruit, watching intensely as Garrett chewed, and Garrett found himself watching as well. Their gazes shifted momentarily to the fire and then back to each other. Garrett didn’t dare move as anticipatory tension built between them. A steady thump sounded in his ears and his stomach fluttered. In those few seconds, he pushed away the memories of the last time that had happened and just went with it.

  Nigel leaned forward, tugging at Garrett with an invisible thread until he was doing the same. If Nigel had said a single word, Garrett probably would have pulled back. But Nigel just looked and moved closer, as though waiting Garrett out, the touch of flint in his eyes daring Garrett to pull away.

  Nigel kissed him first, and almost immediately, Garrett wound his arms around Nigel, pulling Nigel to him, deepening the kiss. The fire’s heat paled in comparison to what raged between them. Garrett knew, somewhere in the depths of his mind, in some box buried deeply, that this wasn’t a good idea, but every other cell in his body screamed out for Nigel’s tender touch and the way he seemed to know just what Garrett wanted.

  Nigel slipped a hand under Garrett’s T-shirt, searched and found a nipple, and tweaked it just right, sending Garrett’s head into high orbit.

  “Yes…,” he hissed softly, arching his back. If he closed his eyes, he could easily imagine it was David again. But he didn’t. This wasn’t David, and he wasn’t going to disrespect Nigel.

  “You stopped,” Nigel said. “Do you think I’m this other-half-of-your-soul man? Do you imagine him instead of me?”

  Garr
ett cupped Nigel’s cheeks in his hands. “No. I know who’s here with me.” He drew Nigel closer once again, looking deeply into Nigel’s eyes. “I know where I am.” He closed the distance between them, pressing Nigel back onto the sand. This wasn’t the greatest place to do this sort of thing, but he wasn’t going to stop now.

  The kisses grew even more heated. Garrett tugged at the hem of Nigel’s shirt and drew it upward, exposing his belly and chest to the warm glow of the firelight. “Beautiful,” he hummed as Nigel groaned and vibrated under him. “You’re wonderful.”

  Nigel shook, and Garrett had a pretty good idea what was going on. He remembered being young and so full of energy. Nigel’s cries grew more urgent as Garrett slid his hand into the pair of loose shorts Nigel wore. He opened them and parted the fabric, exposing Nigel’s cock to the air, then slid his hand up and down his length.

  Nigel shook even more. “Please… yes… no…. It’s too soon… oh God.” Nigel shook hard, and Garrett knew his release was just seconds away. He locked gazes with Nigel, determined to see him through his experience. He gripped tighter, and Nigel tumbled over the edge, coming over Garrett’s hand and onto his own belly.

  For a few seconds, Nigel stared at him, wide-eyed, smiling blissfully. “Is that how it always is?” He heaved for breath, still grinning like he’d just been given the keys to the cooler that held the world’s supply of ice cream.

  “It all depends on how you feel and what you think.” Garrett held still, his own excitement burning brightly, but right now, this moment between them had to be about Nigel. If this truly was his first time, then it had to be special, and Garrett’s own release was less important.

  “It was amazing.” Nigel grinned, then sat up and kissed him hard. “You’re amazing too.” Somehow Garrett thought he was much less so, but he didn’t argue. Garrett hadn’t been amazing at any point in his life until he’d met David… and even then, the realization of exactly what David was to him had happened over time. This… whatever this was… with Nigel was like a freight train out of control, racing toward him, and he wasn’t able to stop it or get the hell out of the way. And somehow he knew it was either going to smash him into a million pieces or pick him up and take him along for the ride at a hundred miles an hour. It was exciting and frightening at the same time.