Heartward Read online

  Alan wished he knew what to say. “I saw in the council minutes that you were returning to take the fire captain’s job. Well done. I was out of town when the council made their decision.” He smiled and tried to assess Tyler’s reaction.

  “You’re on the council?” Tyler asked.

  “Yes. It’s sort of a family thing, I guess.” Alan shrugged. “My dad was on the town council for years, and when he retired, I was encouraged to run.”

  Tyler walked through the store. “There have been quite a few changes in town.” He wandered among the pieces of furniture.

  “Lots of changes in us too.”

  Tyler nodded. “Definitely. None of us is the same person we were in high school. Thank God.” He smiled, and Alan’s belly did a little flip. “We were self-centered shits back then.” He turned to his son. “Life has a way of bringing things into focus.”

  Alan couldn’t agree more. “Is the bedroom furniture all you need?”

  “I need everything.” Tyler walked through the store to the table Alan had just put out and rubbed his hands over the honey-gold wood. “I’ll take this too. That will give us something for the dining room. Oh, and those dining chairs would be nice, as well as those two for the living room.” The seats were worn leather and were very comfortable.

  “Looks like mission-style is what you like,” Alan said as he nodded. “I think I have a few end tables in the back that will go with these.” He left them and hurried away, breathing deeply for a minute before carrying out one of the tables. “There are two of them.”

  Tyler checked the prices and took all of it. “I suppose I’ll need a sofa, but I can’t get everything at once. At least we’ll have some furniture for the living room. This should be a good start.”

  “It looks like an amazing start, judging by his reaction.” Dang, that bed seemed to have been made for Tyler’s little boy. “Let me get everything written up, and I can load things onto the truck. The bed comes apart and includes the mattress, but the queen set doesn’t have one.” Alan didn’t carry them.

  “It’s all right. I’ll get one as soon as I can.” Tyler joined his son, and Alan wrote up the bill for the purchases, knocking 10 percent off the entire thing because it was one heck of a sale. Tyler picked out some lamps, and Alan added them before retotaling it. Tyler paid with a credit card, and once that was done, Alan got to work covering the furniture with pads.

  “I can get this loaded and deliver it later this evening. Say about eight?” Alan didn’t normally do things that quickly, but he figured Tyler would be living in an empty house otherwise.

  “Thank you so much. Somehow I doubt I’m going to be able to get Abey to sleep tonight. He’s so excited, and I know he’s going to be upset now that we have to leave the bed.” Tyler extended his hand. “Thank you for delivering everything so quickly.” Tyler got Abey, who fussed as soon as Tyler lifted him off the bed. “Mr. Alan is going to deliver the bed to your room for you, I promise. You can sleep in it tonight.”

  Abey didn’t seem to believe him.

  As soon as they left, Alan got to work packing up the furniture and hauling it to the truck out back. He didn’t get any more customers that night, so once he closed the store, he finished loading everything and closed the truck door.

  He had anticipated seeing Tyler around town eventually, but he hadn’t expected him to walk through the door of his shop… or for his head to spin when Tyler smiled at him. Not that it mattered. He had a kid, which usually meant there was a wife, or at the very least, there had been a woman in his life.

  Alan paused at the back door of the shop, looking up at the stars. Tyler Banik. In high school, man, Tyler had been it. He was athletic, graceful, and could tear up the court like nothing else. He and Tyler had played different sports, Tyler basketball and Alan baseball. But Alan’s dad had been on the town council, so that put him in one league at school and…. Jesus, the stupid things Alan had done. He didn’t want to think about them now. Many nights, regardless of what he said or how mean he was, he used to lie awake and wonder what Tyler looked like under his basketball jersey and those stupid shorts they had to wear.

  Alan needed to pull his head out of the past and get to work if he was going to be able to get to Tyler’s before it got too late. Alan did a last check of the store, jotted down the address, and then left by the back door. He got into the truck and pulled out of the loading bay and around to the main street.

  It was pretty easy to find the house, and after he parked, Tyler came out to meet him. “Did you load all this by yourself?”

  “I do it all the time,” Alan said, and began carrying things inside, with Tyler helping. “Where’s Abey?”

  “With my mom. She agreed to watch him for a few hours, and I made a run into Meijer for sheets and a carload of other things he and I were going to need.”

  They continued working, and Alan had to be careful of the mini forest of bags on the kitchen floor. Soon enough the table and chairs were in the dining room, the beds and dressers placed, and the chairs and end tables in the living room. The house was still pretty sparse, but it looked more like a home now.

  “Can I get you something to drink? I was putting a few things in the refrigerator before you got here.” There looked to be plenty more to do.

  “I’m good, thanks. I need to get something to eat on my way home.” Alan’s stomach rumbled at the mention of food, and he noticed that Tyler’s did too. “I was going to head to Steve’s for dinner. Do you want to join me?” It was neighborly, and Alan ate a lot of meals alone, so some company would be nice. Running the store required long hours.

  “That’d be great.” Tyler began turning off the lights and locked up the house. “Everything else will be there in the morning. Tomorrow I have to see about getting something for me to sleep on and do some more shopping.” He followed Alan down the walk. “I didn’t think about how much I’d need to set up housekeeping in a real house.”

  Alan paused outside the store truck. “Did your wife manage all of that for you?” It seemed strange to him. Tyler acted as though he hadn’t had set up a household before. Come to think of it, the house had been completely empty apart from things that had just been bought. There had been nothing else at all in the house. Maybe more was still on the way, but from how Tyler spoke, it didn’t sound like it was.

  Tyler chuckled. “No. No wife. Never been much for girls. Even in high school, I had lots of friends, but I was always too busy for that sort of thing.” He seemed to hold his breath. “I’m more interested in having a husband than a wife.”

  Alan’s heart did a little flip, and then he groaned inwardly. Damn it all. “Yeah, I understand completely.” He waited for what he said to sink in.

  Tyler rolled his eyes and groaned. “Good God. Do you have any idea how much I would have loved to know that I wasn’t the only one back then?” There was no heat in his voice, just bemusement.

  “I know.” Alan pulled open the truck door. “Do you want a ride, or…?”

  “Sure.” Tyler jumped right in. “I spent so much energy hiding who I was… afraid people were going to find out and then treat me differently.” He pulled the door closed, and Alan walked to the other side and climbed in.

  “The sad thing is that people would have. That’s the crappy thing. If you would have come out, I would have been an even bigger shit to you to cover for myself. I know it sounds awful, but that’s the reality. Kids are cruel, and I hate to say it, but even now most of the high-schoolers were born here, grew up here, and have never spent much time anywhere else. Just like when we were kids.”

  “Tell me about it.” Tyler buckled himself in.

  “Can I ask? If you never had a wife, where did you get Abey? I’m assuming adoption.” Alan was so curious, and he wanted to barrage Tyler with the ton of questions that came to mind, but he held back. This conversation was like a watershed. Not that it meant that Tyler was going to be interested in him. Just because he was gay didn’t mean the two of th
em were going to meld instantly or anything. Still, his belly butterflies seemed like they were on steroids.

  Tyler hesitated, and Alan began to wonder if it was some kind of secret. “I adopted him on my last assignment. Before that, I was in St. Louis, but that was three years ago. And I figured it would be easier for Abey to assimilate and grow up here rather than in a big city.”

  “That makes sense to me. I like to think this is a good place to grow up.” Alan pulled out onto the main street and stopped at the main light.

  “Do people know about you?”

  Alan nodded. “Yeah. When I ran for council, I wasn’t sure if it would become an issue, but it wasn’t like I was running against anyone in particular. There were three spots open, and four people ran, so it was like ‘pick three names,’ and I got the second-most votes. But yeah, people know. I’m a volunteer with the school’s gay–straight alliance.” He did what he could. “I think one of the biggest things I can do is live my life and not be shy about it. I’m on the town council, I have the business, I go out to eat and shop—things that are perfectly normal. I don’t put on wings and glitter for the Harvest Festival or anything like that. I’m one of their neighbors, just like you’re going to be one of their firemen. And you have a son.”

  “Yeah, I agree with you. I spent years being quiet about who I was, not out of choice but for general safety.”

  Alan swallowed. “It sounds like there’s a story there.”

  “Yeah, there is, and if you don’t mind, I’d rather save that one. It’s one for when there’s plenty of alcohol and a lot of tissues. Just let me say that my mom and dad only know the barest outline of it, and that’s probably best.”

  Alan glanced over, and for a second, the darkness in Tyler’s eyes told him that he’d been through hell and back and had the scars to go along with it. That Alan could respect, because that was something he could understand.

  He pulled into a parking space, and they got out and went inside the bar, which hadn’t changed much in probably fifty years. The place smelled of beer, grease, and guys. The cigarette scent, which had lingered over the place for years after it had been outlawed, had taken forever to fade, and even now there was just the barest hint that hung in the air.

  “Hey, Mary, it’s the two of us,” Alan told one of the servers who hurried up.

  “Take the table right over there, and I’ll be right by to help you.” She hurried away, and they did as she asked.

  “This place still has the best burgers in the county,” Alan said as he pulled out his chair. “I remember my mom and dad talking about them, but they said because it was a bar, we weren’t allowed to come inside. So it was a rite of passage to see what the food was like when I turned eighteen.”

  Tyler gaped at him. “You could always eat here.”

  “Yeah, I found that out. Mom and Dad just wanted a few nights out a month without us kids, and this was their place.” Alan could see it as funny now, but at the time, with all that teenage angst, it had just been something else his parents had kept from him. “I can’t blame them for that now.”

  “Do they still come here?” Tyler asked.

  “Not so much. My mom stops in sometimes to see friends, but Dad has Alzheimer’s disease and remembers less and less all the time. The last time I visited, he knew I was someone to him, he could remember that much, but my mom says there are times when he doesn’t remember who she is any longer. It’s a matter of time before the disease will take away the last of who he is. I hate to think about it, but there’s nothing to be done. We’ve tried drugs and therapies to help him retain what he had.” Alan shrugged. It was what it was, and he just had to be there for his mom as much as he could.

  “Mom and Dad played Scrabble all the time. It was like a family game. Dad thought it important that my sister and I learn to communicate properly and speak well, so they started playing when I was a kid. My sister, Rachel, plays cutthroat. I remember the first time she beat Dad. She crowed, and Dad vowed to get her the next time, but he never did. She’s a professor at Michigan State. Dad was… is so proud of her for that.” Alan glanced at the menu to make sure nothing had changed and ordered a burger and a Rolling Rock when the waitress came over. Tyler did the same. “He and Mom played Scrabble every night from the time he was diagnosed until he couldn’t play anymore. Dad won most games, and then as time went on, Mom won. Once she realized he was straining to play, she put the set away and read to him in the evenings. She still does. He doesn’t know what she’s reading anymore. I think the sound of her voice is soothing to him, though, and makes him happy.”

  “Is he still at home?”

  Alan shook his head. “He’s in a care facility. Because of the disease, he doesn’t want to bathe because he’s become scared of the water sometimes. He’ll fight with Mom, but not the people at the home.” The beer arrived, and he took a drink. God, that was what he needed. “How are your parents?” Alan needed to change the subject. This was getting too heavy for a first conversation.

  “Mom is thrilled beyond belief at being a grandma. Abey is talking a little more now, even if sometimes he doesn’t speak English. I’m waiting for the first time he calls her Grandma. At that point he’s going to be able to take over the world, and my mom is going to smile and let him do it. My dad is another story. He doesn’t understand how a son of his can be gay, especially one who played sports in high school and college. He’s met Abey, and I know it isn’t going to take too long and my dad isn’t going to care that Abey isn’t his biological grandson or that I adopted him from overseas and didn’t ask my dad’s opinion. All he’s going to see is that smile and those big eyes and that little boy asking Grampy to read him a story, and that is going to be it.” Alan rolled his eyes. “Dad and I don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things. But he’ll forget all that for Abey.”

  “Yeah, I bet he will.” Tyler’s father was a pillar of his church and a local bigwig in the Republican Party. He was one of the people who organized rallies and got signatures on petitions. He was even a delegate to conventions. Alan had locked horns with him a few times. He respected him but didn’t agree with him.

  The burgers came, and their conversation died a little. “When do you start at the station?”

  “Monday. I wanted to stop in to see the chief, but I just didn’t have any time at all. And I figured that weekends are usually more thinly staffed because of time-off requests, so I didn’t want to bother him.”

  “I can introduce you if you’d like,” Alan said. “He’s right over there.” He shifted his gaze and narrowed it. The man sat at a table with three other men, in his uniform, and as Alan watched, downed a gulp of beer. Alan groaned and made a note to mention to the mayor to check the schedule to make sure he wasn’t drinking on the job. Not that he was going to make it that easy on anyone to fire him, but if Alan could find something inappropriate on Chief Coburn, he’d love to bring it to the board’s attention, along with a resolution of termination.

  “Drinking in uniform?” Tyler said, shaking his head. “Is that normal?”

  “Let’s just say that he skirts what’s appropriate and has just enough backing on the council to keep himself secure.” Alan glanced over once again. “Come on. Let’s go introduce you.” He stood. “It will just take a minute.” That was about all he could stand to actually be in his presence.

  Tyler followed him over.

  “Chief,” Alan said as brightly as he could manage without going into a sugar coma. “This is Tyler, the new captain who’s starting on Monday.” He stepped back as the chief stood, his hands on his hips in that way he had to try to intimidate everyone.

  “Good to meet you.” He held out his hand, and Tyler took it, eyebrows rising slightly, and they shook hands, both men staring at each other. Alan knew exactly what was happening, and a ruler wouldn’t have been out of the question. However, when the chief pulled back first, rubbing his hand, Alan kept the smile off his face.

  “I’m looking forward to wor
king with you.” Tyler held the chief’s gaze, and damned if the chief didn’t lower his arms and take a more normal posture. “Can’t wait to get started.”

  The chief nodded. “You have some mighty big shoes to fill.” He turned to the others at the table, who all nodded.

  “Then it’s a good thing I have big feet.” Tyler wasn’t backing down, and damn, that was hot. Not many men or women got the better of the chief. “I’ll let you return to your dinner. See you on Monday.” Tyler nodded and went back to the table.

  Alan nodded and then followed Tyler to their table. “Holy cow. You got brass ones, I’ll give you that.” He sat down and returned to his burger.

  “He was never going to respect me for a second if I backed down. That kind of man can smell fear or intimidation the way a cat scents food. So never show anything but strength.” Tyler took a bite of his burger and seemed to not be looking over at them on purpose. “Who are the men with him?”

  “One of them is his chief supporter on the council. No one really likes Kenneth, so he doesn’t carry much weight. The others are businessmen and cronies. Guys he’s known for years. The good-old-boy network is alive and well, but younger people are coming up and they aren’t interested in all that.” Alan finished his burger and sat back.

  “Is that why you cut him out of the hiring?”

  “In part. The thing is, the regular firefighters are employed by the town. The rest are volunteers. But there are no women or minorities in the department at all. And we had to know to protect the town from discrimination claims. It turned out, at least for your position, that no one applied. But we’ve been wondering who’d been turned down, so we got involved, and that gave us a chance to go over past practices. I didn’t find anything improper, but that doesn’t mean there hasn’t been anything. Still, I got to look.” And he’d hoped he might uncover something. Though he couldn’t prove it, Alan thought some records might have been deleted or removed.

  Tyler nodded. “I heard some rumors.”

  “Yeah. They’ve persisted for years, and yet there’s no proof.” Alan finished his beer and declined a second. He was going to need to drive and wasn’t going to get into trouble. When the server came back, he asked for the check and paid the bill. “Just welcoming you back to town,” Alan said when Tyler protested. They got up, and he greeted the people he knew as he headed out. Once in the truck, Alan took Tyler back to his place and said good night, turning off the engine as they sat in front. He wasn’t sure what to say and everything sounded lame in his head. “I have your number on the sales slip. I’ll call if I get anything in that I think you might like.” That had to be the lamest of the lame, but it was something at least.