Half a Cowboy Page 20

  “I told him that I loved him,” Ashton said.

  “Right. You said you loved him and all those nice mushy words while the two of you were in this house, stuck here because some psychopath might have sent someone after Ben. Which he did. There was a ton of shit going on. It’s nice that you said that you loved him, but did you tell him that he had a place here? Did you find him something to do to make him want to stay?”

  Ashton’s lips worked, but nothing came out.

  “Yeah, I didn’t think so. I know you care about him and all, but love is more than just words. It’s about making room in your life and wanting to share your home. Ben needs to know that. That dude’s life has been as messed up as the lives of some of the crazies we deal with every day in our business.”

  “Really? Some of those people have weird altered realities,” Ashton finally managed to say.

  “And you think Ben’s reality hasn’t been altered? He was essentially kept prisoner for a year or more as someone’s plaything.” Reg tilted his head to the side as though Ashton wasn’t all that bright. “He needs to know there’s room in your life for him, not just your heart.”

  “I suppose. But what if he doesn’t really want to stay? I mean, he could care about me but not want everything that comes with this.” He motioned around the ranch.

  Reg snickered. “I think he’s in love with you and your life. The horses, the dogs, the guys who work here—they all seem to like him. And you might want to notice that Marcel and Lucy include him in the things they’re doing. That’s acceptance.” Reg hit him with a pointed look. “You need to figure out your next move.” He lowered his arms. “I’m going to head on out. I suggest you find him. And call someone to get you a new truck. The old one needs a funeral. You can have a joint one with the car that Ben arrived in.”

  “At least stay until morning,” Ashton told Reg as he went to get his gear. “It’s already dark.”

  “I won’t head out until morning. But you have something you need to do, and I suggest you follow your dogs. They love Ben too.”

  Shit. Ashton hadn’t even realized the dogs were nowhere to be found.

  He pulled on his gear and headed outside into the night. The darkness closed around him, pierced only by the light at the corner of the barn. The snow flurries from earlier had stopped, but it was just cold enough that Ashton figured more snow was on the way.

  He crunched his way across the still, nearly empty yard. With Lucy and Marcel once again back in their own place, the ranch was going to seem quiet.

  A yip caught on the breeze, flitting past his ear, pulling Ashton toward the barn. He opened the door and stepped inside before closing it once again against the cold. The horses stamped and nickered softly as he passed, following the light toward the tack room.

  Poochie approached him down the aisle, and Ashton petted him gently. “Take me to Ben.” It was so quiet.

  Poochie jumped for more attention and then got back down and turned toward the back of the barn. Ashton found the rest of the dogs in a pile huddled together around Ben, who was sleeping in that same damned stall where Ashton had first found him. This time all the dogs were right next to him, forming a big, warm puppy pile that went right to Ashton’s heart.

  Slowly, Ashton got down, using the cane for balance, until he was sitting on the blanket next to Ben. Relief washed over him just at being close to Ben once more. He’d been worried Ben might have already gone.

  The dogs shifted, coming to Ashton for attention. He gently stroked their fur, and they settled once again. “Sweetheart,” Ashton said softly, lightly stroking the hair out of Ben’s forehead. “What are you doing out here?”

  Ben slid open his incredible eyes and gazed up at him. “I was thinking, and it got cold.” He slowly sat up, disturbing the pups, who crowded around both of them.

  “I thought you might have gone with the guys,” Ashton said. “They were headed to California, and I figured you might have decided to continue your journey.” God, that idea had left him cold.

  “I was thinking about it.” Ben shrugged. “I don’t have a place here. What do I know about ranching? I’m just a city kid who nearly froze to death in a blizzard because I didn’t know enough to get out of the cold.” He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “I know you were good to me and helped protect me and all, but what can I give you? I have nothing. I’m not good for anything here.”

  Ashton swallowed, wishing Ben could see what he did. “What is it you want to do?”

  Ben shrugged once again. “I don’t have a clue what you need here, but I sure as hell know that you don’t need some club kid who can dance and hasn’t learned how to stay away from psychopaths. I can feed and water the horses because Lucy showed me what to do, and I can shovel out stalls. I barely know anything else about this life, other than it’s cold and you have cattle and stuff. But I’m not good for anything other than looking pretty on someone’s arm.”

  “There’s more to you than that,” Ashton said softly. “But I’m not Dallas, and I’m not going to keep you here. You don’t owe me anything. What I did, I gave freely, and you can go if you want to.” He used his cane to lever himself upward. God, getting up off the floor was a pain in the ass, and he hated how hard it was… as well as the fact that Ben had to help him get up.

  “I want to stay,” Ben told him. “I really do. This feels like it could be home for me. But I can’t just stay here and sponge off you. I need to be useful. I was nothing to Dallas, but I need to be more than that with you.”

  Ashton’s spirit soared, and he smiled in the darkness between them, with only the light of the yard coming in from the tack room. “Then we’ll find something for you to do. It’s that simple. There are plenty of things you can do here, and come spring, there will be hundreds more. Believe me, there is never a shortage of work on a ranch. You could even continue your medical training, if you want. We could sure use it. But it has to be your choice. You have the entire world open to you, but here, if you want it, you can have a home that will always be here, one we can build together.”

  “But this is already your home,” Ben said softly, almost breathlessly.

  “It was. But since my dad died, I’ve lived here alone. This was his home, but it hasn’t felt like mine. I think maybe we can change that and make this ours.”

  Ben’s heat increased as Ashton drew nearer, pressing up next to him and sliding his arm around him. “Is that what you really want? To make a home… with me?”

  “If that’s what you want,” Ashton said, swallowing hard.

  Ben kissed him hard, holding him tightly. “I want.”

  Epilogue

  SOMETIMES BEN had thought spring would never come. But it finally did, with longer days, more sunshine, warmth, and green everywhere. It just happened months after he was used to it in Texas. But it was here.

  “Do we need to finish it?” Ben asked Lucy after checking that Ashton wasn’t around.

  Lucy grinned. “We did. Marcel and I put on the last coat of paint last night. It should be all ready to go.” He was almost as excited as Ben. Ashton’s injury had taken away part of his life, but Ben wanted to give a small piece of it back to him.

  With a little pushing from Ben and the reward money they got for Dallas, Ashton had seen a specialist in Chicago, who had recommended stem cell therapy to help repair some of the cartilage around his knees. With that, a return to physical therapy, a lot of hard work, and plenty of Ben’s massages, Ashton’s leg had improved some. He was stronger and seemed to have less pain, which was good. Ashton had initially been a little disappointed in the amount of improvement, but he’d soldiered on and had even stopped using his cane for a while. The stubborn ass.

  “Do you want us to help?” Lucy asked, pulling Ben out of his thoughts.

  “Yes, please. He has to go to town later this morning.” Ben filled his shovel with muck from a stall and placed it in the wheelbarrow. “I thought we could have everything ready for when he gets back.
” He was so excited.

  Ben, with Lucy and Marcel’s help, had built a special set of steps that would allow Ashton to get up high enough to climb onto a horse again. Every time one of the guys mounted up in the yard, Ashton got this look of yearning that ripped at Ben’s heart. Regardless of what Ben said, Ashton only saw himself as half a cowboy because he couldn’t ride a horse.

  “You got it,” Lucy told him.

  Ben put his back into the task he was working on, finishing up the stall and adding the muck to the pile outside the barn, thankful the horses were spending more time in the paddocks and less time inside so he didn’t have to do this as often.

  “Thanks, Mark, I’ll be heading into town soon,” Ashton said as he approached Ben on his way back into the barn. “The sheriff just called.” There was something rather pleased in his voice.

  Ben stiffened. The past few months, with the trials of the men who had attacked them, had had their ups and downs. He braced himself for bad news. Dallas’s lawyers were as scummy as he was. “What did he say?”

  “Both Dallas and his henchman were convicted and got twenty years to life each.” Ashton smiled, and Ben threw his arms around him and held on tight. He had hated that there was even the remotest possibility Dallas could get away. The new sheriff, Mark Phillips, had told him it wasn’t likely, but until he got this news, it had still been a possibility. Finally, the weight of his old life fell from his shoulders.

  “Maybe I should just stay here,” Ashton whispered.

  Ben chuckled. “Go ahead and get your work done.” He stepped back with a sigh. It was tempting to just have Ashton stay and the two of them could sneak back inside the house for a few hours, but Ben had work to do, and so did Ashton. “I’ll be available to give you your extra-special birthday massage later.” Ben loved that Ashton’s breath had hitched before he moved away and got into his new truck, waving as he headed out.

  Ben watched until he was out of sight before returning to the barn to get his chores finished.

  THE WORK in the barn was done, and Ben showered and spent some time in the kitchen. He had seriously thrown himself into learning how to cook, and to his surprise, he was pretty good at it. Not that he made gourmet food, but he’d bought cookbooks, followed the recipes, learned about spices and stuff, and could now make a decent meal. However, tonight he wanted something special, so he was getting a roast ready to put in the oven for dinner in a few hours, with potatoes and an early spring green salad.

  The door opened and closed, and the dogs all raced away to see who it was. Then Lucy strode in. “Ashton called to ask if there was anything else we needed before he came back.”

  “Awesome.” Ben quickly finished seasoning the roast and put it back in the refrigerator, then grabbed his jacket before following Lucy outside, with the dogs all going along. Marcel was in the yard lowering the tailgate of his truck, and the three of them lifted out the set of stairs. They were wide steps with plenty of room, painted gray and really steady.

  They placed them on the ground; then the three of them hurried inside the barn. Lucy saddled a horse for Ashton, while Ben saddled the one Marcel had been teaching him to ride.

  “You’ve come a long way,” Lucy said.

  “Bruno here is a good boy,” Ben said, patting his neck while Marcel checked the girth for him. “Even if he holds his breath.”

  Marcel pronounced them good to go, and Ben led his horse out of the barn, following Lucy, who got Ashton’s into position just as Ashton’s red truck made the turn into the yard.

  “I’ve got a load to empty….” Ashton paused. “What’s all this?”

  “Happy birthday,” Ben said with a grin. “We got your horse all saddled and ready to go. I thought you and I could take a ride.” Marcel took the reins of Ben’s horse, and Ben hurried over to Ashton. “We made this platform for you. It should get you high enough that you can easily mount and dismount. I thought with the improvement in your knees, you could give it a try.”

  Ashton swallowed hard, and Ben lost himself in watching his throat work for just a few seconds. “Ben… I….”

  “Do you want to go for a ride with me?” Ben asked.

  Ashton nodded, stepping forward to slowly climb the steps up to the platform. “These are beautiful,” he whispered.

  “I did some research on mounting blocks used in therapy riding, and the guys helped me build them.” He was so pleased, and when Ashton placed his left leg in the stirrup and his other leg over the horse and sat down, the smile on his face was worth the hours of work.

  “Thank you… all of you.”

  Ben mounted his horse and they got ready to leave.

  “Wait,” Lucy said. He hurried into the house and returned with a hat that he handed to Ashton. “You need this.”

  Ashton put the hat on and urged his horse forward.

  Ben followed Ashton out of the yard. He didn’t intend for them to go too far or for too long. He caught up beside him as they crossed the trail that split the field of spring grasses.

  “Where did you plan on going?” Ashton asked.

  Ben met Ashton’s intense gaze. “You lead, cowboy. You know I’ll follow you anywhere.”

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