Heartward Read online

  Tyler shivered under him and gently tilted Alan’s face upward, kissing him gently at first, but adding more intensity. “I always wanted to be one,” Tyler confessed. “I used to watch westerns and dream of being the cowboy hero, riding into town to save the day just in time. But in my dreams, I was never the one to get the girl.” Tyler’s eyes flashed heat, and Alan drew him closer, kissing him.

  “I wonder why?” Alan asked. “You can be my cowboy and ride me into the sunset.” God, that idea sent his mind and body into complete overdrive. He was so ready to take Tyler into the bedroom for an athletic, powerful round of lovemaking. The two of them had circled for weeks in one way or other. Alan figured that Tyler had wanted to take things slow for Abey’s sake. But maybe he’d been wrong. It occurred to him after the last time they were intimate that maybe Tyler was shy about these sorts of things. He knew guys on his teams in high school who were confident as hell on the field, but put them with girls and they clammed up and didn’t say a word. Alan wondered if Tyler was like that.

  Tyler drew him closer, his hands cradling Alan’s cheeks. “I want that… a lot.”

  Alan swallowed. “Are you shy? Is that why you’re so tentative? I know what you told me before, and I’ve seen your scars. You know how I feel, so there’s nothing to be worried about.”

  Tyler shook his head and rubbed his forehead before chuckling nervously. “No. It’s not that I’m shy. But… what if I’m too much?” He swallowed hard.

  “Are you going diva on me now?” Alan asked. “Because I never would have guessed that about you.” He tried to smile to lighten the mood, but it didn’t happen.

  “No. I’m not a diva. But… what if I want too much?” Tyler asked. “What if…?” Words seemed to fail him, and he looked away. Alan cupped Tyler’s cheek, gently turning his head back. “Before I left, the guy I was with in St. Louis, Russell…. It didn’t last very long, but man he was pretty. He had these eyes that shone like stars, and—”

  Alan growled. He put his hand over his mouth to stop it, but he fucking growled like a dog.

  “Okay. I get it. You don’t want to hear about him. And I don’t blame you. I don’t really want to think about him. But… you have to try to understand. I was flattered that he was interested in me. He was….” Tyler sighed, and Alan tried to stifle the rise of jealousy that twisted his belly. “Russell was the kind of guy who could have been on the cover of a magazine. He had wavy black hair and a sculpted beard as black and perfect as anything. His eyes could pierce the darkness, and I fell for him in a big way. I did. But he and I weren’t compatible, as Russell made certain to tell me.” Tyler blew out his breath. “He said I was like some kind of animal. That I wanted too much and that….”

  “He made you doubt yourself?”

  Tyler nodded. “He said that in bed I was too intense and that I was too close to an animal. I guess he was more delicate. But he said that if I wanted the things I wanted… I should go to the leather clubs where there were guys who would let me be rough. That was his word.”

  And scrunched his eyes and leaned back. “What in the heck did you want?”

  Tyler shrugged. “That’s just it. I like things athletic, I guess. I didn’t want him to just lie there while he went off into his own little world. I think he liked things gentle and sweet, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but….”

  Alan nodded. “It stuck with you. His comment, which was probably mean-spirited, stuck in your head and grew.” He leaned closer, his lips right to Tyler’s ear. “I’m no shrinking violet, and you can manhandle me all you like. I love athletic, robust sex. God, I think I live for it.” Alan stood, pushing Tyler down into the cushions before straddling him, grinding his ass against Tyler’s hips, feeling his cock growing in his jeans. “I know we have to be quiet, but that will only heighten the intensity.” He continued rocking, and Tyler’s eyes grew wider, his mouth falling open.

  Tyler stopped and listened. Alan did the same. “Maybe you and I should take this to the bedroom. You can fuck me into the middle of next week, and I’m going to love each and every second of it. I’ll bring the monitor, and we can lock the door and have a few hours of adult time.” Tyler hugged him more tightly, kissing him again. It wasn’t until ten minutes later that they actually got up and Tyler locked the doors and turned out the lights.

  Alan took the monitor and set it on the nightstand. When Tyler passed the door, Alan closed and popped the lock to make sure they didn’t have any unexpected visitors. “Okay, now you’re mine, cowboy,” Alan said softly, but his voice grated as he stalked to the bed.

  Tyler sat on the edge of the mattress, his eyes wide. “I thought I was going to be the one calling the shots,” Tyler whispered, spreading his legs and tugging Alan between them, cupping Alan’s ass in his strong hands.

  “You can take whatever you like. I’m a big boy, and there is no way you’re going to hurt me. I like a strong man. It’s why I nearly dropped my teeth when I first saw you in my store.” Alan held Tyler’s cheeks in his hands.

  “It is?”

  Alan rolled his eyes. “Tyler Banik, you are the hottest man to cross my path in my life. You have these eyes that have seen everything, and you have a heart that’s big enough to take in a little boy who needs you and still have room for me. Most people would turn a child they rescued over to the authorities and tell themselves that they had done the right thing. Abey has a home, a papa, and people who love him.” Alan placed his hand in the center of Tyler’s chest. “And that’s because of you.” Alan leaned down and kissed Tyler hard, tasting his lips in the bruising hardness that followed.

  When he straightened up, Tyler continued stroking him as Alan pulled his shirt over his head and toed off his shoes.

  “Don’t you think you should be getting out of those clothes?” Alan asked.

  Tyler shook his head, flipping open Alan’s pants and then pushing everything to the floor. “I’m enjoying the view way too damn much.” Tyler wound his hands around Alan’s hips and then down his ass, cupping his cheeks as he guided him forward. Tyler took him between his lips, sucking him hard and full in a smooth motion that took Alan’s breath clean out of his body.

  His leg shook with excitement as Tyler took him to the root, his tongue swirling around the head, and damned if Alan wasn’t seconds from collapse. Tyler guided him around to the bed and down onto the mattress, his hands caressing him firmly. Alan was on fire, his hips flexing, cock bobbing against his belly. Tyler wasn’t satisfied until his head was resting on the pillow.

  “You’re wearing way too much,” Alan whispered.

  “And you talk too much,” Tyler teased as he closed the distance between them.

  The kiss seared Alan to his soul, and he knew what he’d been missing his entire life. Tyler leaned up, unbuttoned his shirt, and tossed it aside. His shoes thunked dully onto the carpet, and then Tyler took him again, cradling Alan’s cheeks in his hands as he knelt over him. Their eyes met in a wave of heat that threatened to consume Alan. The two of them had barely done anything and already Alan was on a knife’s edge. Alan needed to breathe, to regain some control, but Tyler only increased the intensity, nuzzling the base of his neck, crossing Alan’s eyes as he held on to Tyler to ground himself.

  Tyler backed away, reached into the nightstand, and pulled out supplies. Alan used the moments to breathe deeply and to try to clear his head. It didn’t work. One look into Tyler’s gaze once it returned and he was a goner. Alan placed his hands on Tyler’s chest, the hair rough on his palms. God, he was gorgeous, and in an instant, his breath was gone again. The intensity in those deep eyes made Alan want to fall into them and never get found again.

  Tyler slipped off the bed, stripped off his clothes, then stood still. Alan took him in, his gaze raking over him. Tyler shivered, and damn, if that wasn’t sexy. “You look at me like….” Tyler swallowed.

  “Like I want to eat you for lunch.” Alan extended his arms. “Like I want to hold you and never let you go.�
� He decided that being shy about how he felt wasn’t going to get him anywhere. “Now get over here. I don’t think I can wait any longer.”

  Tyler climbed on the bed, his cock swinging from side to side. Alan was mesmerized as Tyler drew closer, then pressed to him. Finally they were skin to skin, and Alan got a handful of hard, fireman ass. God, Tyler felt amazing, and he squirmed under him, needing more sensation.

  “What do you want?” Tyler asked. “I need to know.”

  Alan rolled them on the bed and straddled Tyler, sliding his hips back and then rolling them, gliding his ass over Tyler’s thick cock. “I told you out there. I want athletic. I want fast. I want you to drive me out of my mind.”

  Tyler’s breath rumbled in his chest, and he pulled him down into a kiss as Tyler took control. “Do you know what you do to me?” Tyler whispered and thrust upward, propelling Alan along with him and then over onto his back. Tyler’s eyes were dark as the night, filled with passion that seemed endless. Hell, it was incredible having someone look at him like that, as though the entire world revolved around them, at least for now.

  “I like you like this,” Tyler whispered, sucking at the base of his neck.

  “Like how?” Alan’s voice shook.

  “Under me, shaking. I know you’re quivering for my touch. That’s the hottest thing imaginable.” Tyler kissed him again, sending Alan’s head into a spin. By the time it stopped, Tyler was reaching for the nightstand.

  A slicked finger barely prepared him for the invasion of head-blowing proportions. He and Tyler connected, and Alan shook. “Oh God,” he breathed as Tyler leaned over him, driving and withdrawing with mind-numbing power. This was incredible, and Tyler seemed to know what he needed. He slowed when Alan wanted it and sped up when he needed it so badly, he thought he’d scream.

  “It’s your breathing,” Tyler whispered into Alan’s ear. “It tells me everything you want.”

  Alan wrapped his arms around Tyler’s neck, clenching his body. “What does that say?”

  Tyler groaned. “That you’re the sexiest man I have ever been with and that I should do my very best to make you happy.” Tyler drove deep, and Alan shook as pressure built. Within seconds he was soaring, and Tyler went right along with him.

  “CAN YOU move?” Tyler whispered.

  Alan hummed softly. Yes, he could move, but he didn’t want to. The bubble of heat that surrounded him was comfortable, and he didn’t want it to end.

  Tyler chuckled and left the bed, then returned with a towel. He cleaned him up and put the towel away. “I have to check on Abey, but I’ll be right back.” Tyler kissed him and then stepped away. “Just a suggestion, but there are sleep shorts in the second drawer. Grab a pair in case we get company in the night.” He stroked Alan’s shoulder and then left the room.

  Alan found a pair of shorts, pulled them on, and got back into bed as Tyler returned to the bedroom. “Is Abey okay?”

  “He’s sound asleep with Simeon. But sometimes he gets scared and comes in here.” Tyler slipped under the covers, and Alan sighed, rolling over and sliding his hand over his chest.

  “Does that happen often?” Maybe Alan should just go home and let Tyler and Abey have their night in peace. It wasn’t as though he didn’t like the little boy, but he wasn’t sure how he felt about waking up with him in bed.

  “Mostly when it storms. Abey usually sleeps through the night, but he can also be the first one up in the morning, so a little modesty is probably best.” Tyler stretched his arm, slipping around Alan’s shoulders. “It’s okay. I’m not going to hide part of my life from him. Abey will understand that you’re part of my life just like he is. And I won’t hide that I’m sleeping with you. If he sees it as normal, then it isn’t going to be a big deal for him.” Tyler kissed him. “Go to sleep, and I’ll be here in the morning to make you breakfast. Then we can get those records you want me to look at with you.” Tyler yawned, and Alan nodded, closing his eyes. There was no use worrying about something that hadn’t happened yet.

  ALAN USUALLY tossed and turned half the night in new places. Whenever he traveled, he always came home tired because he rarely slept well in hotels. But with Tyler, he dropped off and slept hard. When he woke, he found Tyler lying on his side, pressed against him, and Abey on the other side of his papa. Alan got up and quietly used the bathroom, then returned to the two guys splayed out on the bed. They were both adorable, and Alan didn’t want to wake either of them, so he pulled on his T-shirt and left the bedroom, started the coffee, and sat in front of the television on low volume.

  “How long have you been up?” Tyler asked half an hour later when he shuffled into the living room.

  “Not long. I started coffee. I was going to make breakfast, but I wasn’t sure when you’d be up.” Alan finished the last of his coffee and poured another for himself and one for Tyler. “How long does Abey sleep?”

  “Papa.”

  Alan had his answer: about two minutes.

  Abey raced out and barreled into Tyler. “You gone.”

  “I was in here, buddy, and you were fine. Do you need to use the potty?” Tyler asked, and took Abey by the hand to the other room. When they returned, Abey hurried to the kitchen.

  “Papa make bacon. I make grapes.” He pulled a stool over to the refrigerator. Tyler stopped him and got a small bunch of grapes and a bowl out for him. Abey proceeded to pull them off the stems.

  “You know, you’re going to need to learn to make something other than grapes,” Alan told Abey. “Maybe some time you and I can make pancakes.”

  “Papa makes bacon,” Abey said definitively, and Tyler sighed.

  “It’s his favorite thing. I have a few bagels. I’ll put a couple in the toaster and make him some bacon. I have juice as well.” He started getting things out, and Alan took over the bacon. Soon they all sat down to a feast, with Abey eating his weight in bacon and grapes, and Alan and Tyler enjoying their warm bagels and herb cream cheese.

  “Do you want a bite?” Alan offered Abey, breaking off a piece of his bagel. He didn’t seem too sure at first, then ate it and smiled before asking for more. Alan ended up giving Abey half his bagel and some of his bacon. “Where do you put it?”

  “He has hollow legs,” Tyler teased, shaking Abey’s knees.

  Abey smiled as he chewed and reached for the last piece of bacon.

  “Hey, buddy, that’s Alan’s piece. You had your share,” Tyler said, and Abey looked about two seconds from crying. “That’s not nice. There will be more bacon soon. I’ll put on House of Mouse and you can watch that for a while.” Tyler turned on the television, and Abey sat enthralled at Mickey Mouse and his friends. “Is it terrible that I’ll use the television as a babysitter? He will watch that show for hours, completely mesmerized.”

  “You gotta do what you gotta do,” Alan said, and finished the last piece of bacon. “I’m going to dress and go get those copies of the records. I’ll be back and I’ll bring something for lunch. Does Abey like pizza?”

  “Pizza, pizza!” Abey bounced.

  “Okay. I’ll be back soon.” Alan kissed Tyler and returned to the bedroom to get the rest of his clothes on and then headed out. He stopped at home to change and clean up, then went into the town hall. The police dispatcher was there, and he waved as he passed the desk and continued on to the council area. Alan unlocked the file cabinet and got the records of the last fire department audit. He also grabbed the original copies, relocked the cabinet, dropped the books into a bag, and headed out.

  “Not in the store today?” the dispatcher asked.

  “No. Day off. Thought I’d get ahead of the next budget.” Alan wasn’t really sure who he could trust and he’d have to put these records back, but he was using them for an official purpose. He needed to make sure they stayed complete. He also didn’t want any word that he was looking into the department finances again to get back to the chief. That was for his own sanity and political survival.

  Afterward, he stopped at the st
ore for pizza, then went back to Tyler’s, where he parked next to a strange car. Alan grabbed his bags, locked the car, and knocked on the door.

  Tyler answered it, looking a little haggard. “Come on in,” he said, and Alan stepped inside. “The chief stopped in to see how I was settling in.” Tyler looked wound as tight as a model airplane rubber band.

  “That’s kind,” Alan said, taking the bags through to the kitchen and then returning to shake the chief’s hand.

  “You two are pretty close?” the chief asked, narrowing his eyes when he released Alan’s hand.

  “He and I went to high school together,” Alan said. “We were both athletes, so we’ve been sharing war stories. You know how it is. Everyone gets hurt at some point.” He held his arm. “I still feel it in my throwing arm sometimes.” God, he was laying it on thick.

  “That’s great. Making friends and settling into the community is something I encourage of all of my men.” The chief stood and turned to the door. “I should be going. I just wanted to make sure you were getting settled and doing well. I don’t want to keep you on your day off.” He nodded and left.

  Alan waited until he was gone and the door closed. “What was that about?”

  “I think it’s a ‘catch more flies with honey’ sort of thing,” Tyler said. “Gave me the creeps because none of it seemed genuine. Abey stayed next to me the entire time and actually hid from him. He hasn’t done that with anyone in months.” Tyler lifted Abey. “It’s okay.”

  “The bad man gone?” Abey asked.

  “Yes. The chief is gone,” Tyler said, meeting Alan’s gaze. “Why don’t you bring the books into the kitchen and lay them out on the table. I’m going to settle him in front of the TV, and then we can get started.” Tyler turned to Abey. “Mr. Alan brought pizza from the store for lunch and then you can watch Mouse for a while. Will you be good?”